{"id":35753,"date":"2024-02-12T09:23:17","date_gmt":"2024-02-12T17:23:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=35753"},"modified":"2024-02-12T09:23:17","modified_gmt":"2024-02-12T17:23:17","slug":"dealing-with-making-hard-and-at-times-hard-decisions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/dealing-with-making-hard-and-at-times-hard-decisions\/","title":{"rendered":"Dealing with Making Hard and at Times Hard Decisions"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dr. Eve Poole in her book Leadersmthing: Revealing the Trade Secrets of Leadership <\/em>provides readers with a list of seventeen Critical Incidents.\u00a0 These are based on asking \u201cboard-level leaders: What do you now know as a leader that you wish you had known ten years ago?[1]<\/a>\u00a0 I looked over the list to determine what areas I have succeeded in, struggle with, and those I really haven\u2019t given much thought.\u00a0 My first leadership role began when I was a Resident Assistant in my dormitory back in college.\u00a0 That was a long year, and overall, I felt like a failure.\u00a0 There were those residents that didn\u2019t want to get to know you and those who wanted no part of any activity that you planned. This weighed heavy upon me, because I wanted to do a good job.\u00a0 Fast-forward fifteen years and I found myself in another leadership role.\u00a0 It is from this point up through today that I evaluated myself as a leader.<\/p>\n

There are some Critical Incidents that I do well, \u201cWork-Life Balance,\u201d \u201cListen to staff,\u201d and \u201cKnowing when to seek help and advice.\u201d [2]<\/a>\u00a0 But there are two areas in this list that I feel I don\u2019t do necessarily well, \u201cTaking key decisions\u201d and Accepting when you get it wrong\u201d[3]<\/a>\u00a0 I don\u2019t like making decisions that can negatively affect other people.\u00a0 Poole says that \u201cleaders find themselves taking decisions not necessarily at a time of their own choosing, but as dictated by the needs of the organization.\u201d[4]<\/a>\u00a0 Honestly, if I had my way, some of those decisions would be put off forever; but I know doing that isn\u2019t an option.\u00a0 Sometimes making those hard decisions forces me into the next area I struggle with \u201caccepting when you get it wrong.\u201d\u00a0 I served as a ruling elder on my church\u2019s session for six years.\u00a0 Those were six long, stressful years; years that involved upsetting long time members of the congregation, Covid-19, a pastor leaving, and the hiring of two transitional pastors.\u00a0 A friend of mine started his tenure on session the same time I did, we both identify as recovering elders<\/em>.\u00a0 I have taken the past year as a sabbath from church leadership and am still not sure I will ever serve as a leader in the church again.\u00a0 I witnessed friends whom I love, leaving the church, a result of decisions we made.\u00a0 I know we hurt people and though apologies have been extended, the relationships still seem strained.\u00a0 I struggle with this.\u00a0 I don\u2019t like wounding people. After reflecting on the wounds that had been inflicted, the session and our transitional pastor made a decision after my term had ended.\u00a0 They decided that the current session would accept responsibility for any decisions made by them or previous session members.\u00a0 Over the past year, they invited the wounded back to hear their grievances and try to initiate healing.<\/p>\n

Why is making key decisions and accepting them when I get it wrong something I struggle with?\u00a0 I believe they are difficult because of my character.\u00a0 Poole writes \u201cCharacter protects your future ability to lead because it is the very thing that will save you when everything else is stripped away. \u201c[5]<\/a> My character impacts how I make decisions, however, there are also other things.\u00a0 I teach social work students about five different ethical philosophies.\u00a0 Utilitarianism, searching for what is the greater good for the most people.[6]<\/a>\u00a0 Distributive Justice, focusing on justice or fairness for everyone.[7]<\/a> Kantian Ethics or Deontology, making decisions based on moral reasoning of what is right and wrong.[8]<\/a> Aristotle\u2019s Virtue Ethics, making decisions based on your virtues and character.[9]<\/a> Ethics of Care, focusing on caring for those who we are in relationship or similar to first.[10]<\/a>\u00a0 I teach this because as social workers, and for us as leaders, we need to know how we ourselves and those who we interact with make decisions.\u00a0 According to Ryan Burge, in 2022, forty-eight percent of Gen Z identifies as atheist, agnostic or no religious affiliation and according to a poll by the Associate Press, 30% of adults surveyed in America have no religious affiliation.[11]<\/a> [12]<\/a> If people are no longer using the Bible as a source of decision making, what are they using?\u00a0 Are there Biblical concepts found in these theories? \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0What exactly am I using to make decisions (I really haven\u2019t fully evaluated this)? Finally, a question Poole might ask, who have we and others apprenticed under in learning how to make decisions?<\/p>\n

While reading Poole\u2019s book and reflecting on the hard and at times wrong decisions I have made, I reviewed the notes I took in Oxford from our speakers.\u00a0 Martyn Percy said \u201cleadership drains\u201d[13]<\/a>\u00a0 Jo Nelson said \u201cleadership is hard\u201d and that it \u201ccan be extremely lonely.\u201d[14]<\/a>\u00a0 I am in this program so that I can exercise my leadership muscles, keep them supple, by learning new things; and also take small steps to gain some leadership muscle memory[15]<\/a> So hopefully at the end, I will find that leadership isn\u2019t so hard, draining or lonely.<\/p>\n

[1]<\/a> Eve Poole, Leadersmithing: Revealing the Trade Secrets of Leadership<\/em> (London: Bloombury Business, 2017), 10.<\/p>\n

[2]<\/a> Poole, , 27, 29, 31.<\/p>\n

[3]<\/a> Poole, 15, 18.<\/p>\n

[4]<\/a> Poole, 15.<\/p>\n

[5]<\/a> Poole, 47.<\/p>\n

[6]<\/a> Academy 4 Social Change \u201cUtilitarianism: For the Greater Good – Moral and Ethical Philosophy Series,\u201d November, 29, 2020, produced by United 4 Social Change, video, https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=0zzlEs5YeQI<\/a><\/p>\n

[7]<\/a> Crash Course \u201cWhat is Justice?: Crash Course Philosophy # 40,\u201d\u00a0 Dec 19, 2016, Produced by PBS Digital Studies, video, https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=H0CTHVCkm90<\/a><\/p>\n

[8]<\/a> \u201cAcademy 4 Social Change, \u201cDeontology: What if everyone did that? – Moral and Ethical Philosophy Series\u201d\u00a0 April 8, 2021, produced by United 4 Social Change, video.\u00a0 https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=a6utLSHQnZQ<\/a><\/p>\n

[9]<\/a> Crash Couse \u201cAristotle and Virtue Theory: Crash Course Philosophy # 38,\u201d\u00a0 December 5, 2016, produced b PBS Digital Studios, video, https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=PrvtOWEXDIQ<\/a><\/p>\n

[10]<\/a> Grey Matter Bardene Philosophy, \u201cCare Ethics: An Ethical Theory,\u201d\u00a0 June 27, 2021, produced by Fishchiatrist, video,\u00a0 https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=E9lD-L65uoo<\/a><\/p>\n

[11]<\/a> Phil Vischer \u201cEPISODE 4: Why Gen Z is Leaving the Church with Ryan Burge,\u201d November 17, 2023 , Are the Kids Alright?<\/em> produced by Holy Post, podcast, 6:30, https:\/\/www.holypost.com\/holy-post-podcast\/episode\/2ec033b0\/are-the-kids-alright-episode-4-why-gen-z-is-leaving-the-church-with-ryan-burge<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

[12]<\/a> Peter Smith \u201cAmerica\u2019s nonreligious are a growing, diverse phenomenon.\u00a0 They Really don\u2019t like\u00a0 organized religion.\u00a0 Associated Press.\u00a0 October 5, 2023.\u00a0 https:\/\/apnews.com\/article\/nonreligious-united-states-nones-spirituality-humanist-91bb8430280c88fd88530a7ad64b03f8<\/a><\/p>\n

[13]<\/a> Martyn Percy (lecture, Portland Seminary, Oxford England, September 23, 2023).<\/p>\n

[14]<\/a> Jo Nelson (lecture, Portland Seminary, Oxford England, September 23, 2023<\/p>\n

[15]<\/a> Poole, 13, 68.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dr. Eve Poole in her book Leadersmthing: Revealing the Trade Secrets of Leadership provides readers with a list of seventeen Critical Incidents.\u00a0 These are based on asking \u201cboard-level leaders: What do you now know as a leader that you wish you had known ten years ago?[1]\u00a0 I looked over the list to determine what areas […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":200,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2967,2090],"class_list":["post-35753","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dlgp03","tag-poole","cohort-dlgp03"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35753","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/200"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35753"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35753\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35754,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35753\/revisions\/35754"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35753"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35753"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35753"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}