Grief is complicated. There is an illustration of grief that looks like a giant ball of tangled string: one way in, a thousand tangles and loops, and finally, a way out. Years ago, someone I loved hurt me deeply. I was in great emotional pain but instead of feeling sad, I felt MAD. I was so, so, angry. After expressing my rage to my therapist she looked me kindly in the eyes and said, \u201cKally, your anger is your body\u2019s way of protecting that vulnerable hurt place within you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Identity Synthesis<\/strong><\/p>\n In his book, The Identity Trap<\/em>, Yascha Mounk describes \u201cThe Identity Synthesis,\u201d a new ideology that is changing the key rules and norms of mainstream institutions;[1]<\/a> an ideology that calls us to divide ourselves into groups including but not limited to \u201crace, gender, religion, sexual orientation, and disability.\u201d[2]<\/a> One example of Younk uses is when a Black mother wants her daughter to have one teacher but the principal of the school, a Black woman, places her daughter in the \u201cBlack class\u201d instead. Younk writes, \u201cIn a growing number of schools all across America, educators who believe themselves to be fighting for racial justice are separating children from each other on the basis of their skin color.\u201d[3]<\/a> Not everyone agrees with this identity synthesis though, as is demonstrated by the mother of this Black student. An educator herself, she believes, \u201cputting my daughters in a class with a whole bunch of people who look like them isn\u2019t necessarily going to give them community. They need to be able to get along with everybody.\u201d[4]<\/a><\/p>\n While many advocates of the identity synthesis are \u201cdriven by a noble ambition: to remedy the serious injustices that continue to characterize every country in the world\u201d[5]<\/a> Mounk has serious reservations about this new ideology, claiming \u201cit is possible to recognize these injustices and fight against them without subscribing to the identity synthesis.\u201d[6]<\/a> Instead of falling into what Mounk calls, \u201cthe Identity Trap\u201d he gives us a list of ways we can fight against identity synthesis. This list is found in his conclusion and while it contains some important ideas, what I found most helpful was his advice on the podcast, The Good Fight<\/em>, on which he was a guest. During this podcast he said we need to speak out about what we know to be right. [7]<\/a><\/p>\n Most of the books we\u2019ve been reading on leadership these past semesters have encouraged us to do the same. Be \u201cdifferentiated,\u201d \u201cundefended,\u201d or to \u201clead from who you are.\u201d[8]<\/a> As a leader, and as a white woman who falls into the \u201cprivileged\u201d category, I feel like I am still listening and learning from those who have experienced a history of oppression and injustice. As a woman, I too have experienced the injustice of patriarchy, but not to the extent others have felt oppression. I appreciate what Mounk has to teach us about what he calls the \u201cIdentity Trap\u201d but I do not feel like I can completely agree or disagree with his opinion that the divisiveness it causes is completely unhealthy.<\/p>\n What if our world actually needs Identity Synthesis?<\/strong><\/p>\n The reason being has to do with my discussion of grief from the first paragraph. Like I said above, grief is complicated. Anger is often used as a way to protect the grieving places within us. I wonder, if the identity synthesis we are experiencing in our world today stems from a place of grief and if it is part of the healing process \u2013 a difficult part for sure \u2013 that, if allowed to run its course, will one day lead those who have been deeply hurt, out of the complicated mess of grief.<\/p>\n When my loved one hurt me, this person apologized and owned the mistake, AND I was still angry, sad, rageful, depressed, in deep pain. Healing did not happen overnight but came in fits and starts and required this loved one to apologize to listen to my pain, acknowledge it, and apologize again and again. When I finally worked through my pain and grief, with the help of my loved one, our relationship deepened.<\/p>\n It was also helpful when I heard from others who had experienced this specific kind of hurt. I wanted to rally us together, to form a group who could support each other. I needed to hear, \u201cme too,\u201d or \u201cyou\u2019re not the only one.\u201d<\/p>\n I don\u2019t want to further divide our country with identity synthesis ideology but I also wonder if at least for a time, people of color, the lgbtqia+ community, and other groups who have long been the recipient of unjust laws, policies, and behaviors, need this identity synthesis to feel their anger and distrust of those who have abused them and to work through their collective and individual grief. And I wonder if those of us who are white and privileged also need the identity synthesis so that we can feel what it is to be on the outside looking in, so that we can learn how the behavior of our ancestors and our own behaviors have oppressed and hurt others.<\/em><\/p>\n Ultimately, identity synthesis is not a long-term answer to racial or any kind of injustice. It has potential to severely divide us to a point of no return. As a Christian leader my role is to participate in the healing of the world, encouraging and equipping others to do the same. Based on my own experience of healing from deep hurt, I needed to feel the rage, the anger, I needed to hear an apology over and over, I needed to see and experience true repentance from the person who hurt me and I needed to know I was not alone in my pain.<\/p>\n Could identity synthesis be part of the process of healing our world? I don\u2019t know. I would be interested in a book that could explore that idea though.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n [1]<\/a> Yascha Mounk, The Identity Trap<\/em>, Penguin Publishing Group, September 2023, 16.<\/p>\n [2]<\/a> Ibid, 17.<\/p>\n [3]<\/a> Ibid, 9.<\/p>\n [4]<\/a> Ibid, 11-12.<\/p>\n [5]<\/a> Ibid, 18.<\/p>\n [6]<\/a> Ibid, 19.<\/p>\n [7]<\/a> Coleman Hughes, The Good Fight Podcast, released September 30, 2023, on Scribd.<\/p>\n