{"id":34321,"date":"2023-11-27T19:40:07","date_gmt":"2023-11-28T03:40:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=34321"},"modified":"2023-11-27T19:40:07","modified_gmt":"2023-11-28T03:40:07","slug":"antifragile-stress-risks-mistakes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/antifragile-stress-risks-mistakes\/","title":{"rendered":"Antifragile: Stress, Risks, Mistakes"},"content":{"rendered":"

The book<\/span> Antifragile <\/span><\/i>is not for the faint of heart. The term \u201cantifragile\u201d is difficult to define, but the author Nassim Taleb describes it this way: \u201cThe resilient resists shocks and stays the same; the antifragile gets better.\u201d [1] Through my lens as a Marriage and Family Therapist, I will provide a summary of a few of the lessons that Taleb shares.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Acute stress is better than chronic stressors<\/b><\/p>\n

All the clients I meet with have chronic stress. Nassim Taleb is correct when he states: \u201cHumans do better with acute stress than with chronic stressors, particularly when the former are followed by ample time for recovery, which allows the stressors to do their jobs as messengers.\u201d [2] What if the acute stressor is emotional, where a significant other says something hurtful? What will it take for this hurt to heal? I believe Jo Nelson, a psychologist in the UK, makes a good distinction in how a relationship weathers hurts when she states: \u201cWhen relationships are strong, people will forgive mistakes.\u201d[3] So quick healing messages (\u201cI am sorry,\u201d \u201cWill you forgive me?\u201d) will communicate best when the condition of the relationship is healthy, like a physical body will heal quicker if the overall health of the body is in good condition.<\/span><\/p>\n

Why are people so resistant to change, even during stress? These stressors are trying to send messages that people are not able to receive. Rian McMullin is cited in the <\/span>New Handbook of Cognitive Therapy Techniques<\/span><\/i>, where he notes that \u201cmost clients change only in small painful steps if they change at all.\u201d He also says that no matter what techniques their therapists use with them, \u201cmany clients will continue to suffer through their problem until some crisis forces them to make a choice.\u201d [4] So acute stress is of great value; it serves as a wake-up call. Here are the words from a client who realized that her emotional pain was a way that God was trying to communicate to her: \u201cI had never even considered that God might be speaking to me through my emotional states, and I never considered until therapy that God was giving me important information about my own pain.\u201d[5] Discovering the meaning behind emotional pain is what will bring great insight and alleviate persistent stressors.<\/span><\/p>\n

It is good to take risks<\/b><\/p>\n

Is it worth the risk? I met with a client today who is a relationship addict (other clinicians may view her as a sex addict). She is beginning to consider if she can risk being alone and not depend on a man to meet her needs. Nassim Taleb describes taking risks this way: \u201cIf you take risks and face your fate with dignity, there is nothing you can do that makes you small; if you don\u2019t take risks, there is nothing you can do that makes you grand, nothing. And when you take risks, insults by half men (small men, those who don\u2019t risk anything) are similar to barks by non-human animals; you can\u2019t feel insulted by a dog.\u201d[5]\u00a0 What would it be like for this woman to take the risk of freeing herself from this unhealthy cycle? I believe she would be free to pursue life independent of being emotionally tied to men, out of a cycle which drove her into the next relationship. This would be a risk worth taking. Albert Ellis writes about encouraging clients to experiment, \u201cthey can only find out what truly is effective for them by taking some experimental chances and risks.\u201d [6]\u00a0 I hope to encourage my client to explore how she might make courageous choices for herself. I know that she will need to be assured of safety to make the next steps in her life. As Robert Kegan says in his book,<\/span> Immunity to Change<\/span><\/i>, \u201cLearning whether it is possible to think and feel that we can still be safe while pursuing a change is the essential change challenge.\u201d [7]<\/span><\/p>\n

It is good to learn from mistakes<\/b><\/p>\n

If we are to learn from our mistakes, there must be a certain mindset that is characterized by humility and a desire to learn. Nassim Taleb describes someone who can\u2019t learn: \u201cMy characterization of a loser is someone who, after making a mistake, doesn\u2019t introspect, doesn\u2019t exploit it, feels embarrassed and defensive rather than enriched with a new piece of information, and tries to explain why he made the mistake rather than moving on.\u201d[8] What I have found is that clients will introspect and find justification for how they are right, dismissing or minimizing the opportunity to see where they have made a mistake. I recently met with a client who reported viewing pornography at the age of six. I recommended that he do some research on brain studies of those who have viewed pornography for years. This client was not receptive to this suggestion. I would have hoped for this client to see the need to learn from his mistake, turning from this self-inflicted injury. If he chose to learn from this mistake, healing would come. \u201cIf the human sciences have taught us anything in the past thirty years, especially through discoveries in neuroscience and neuropsychology, it is how malleable human development is.\u201d[9] The ability to change is in the malleability of the brain. Taleb promotes a strong sense of ownership and responsibility we each as individuals need take to impact society as a whole: \u201cIt is not ideas that survive but people who have the right ones, or societies that have the correct heuristics, or the ones, right or wrong, that lead them to do the good thing.\u201d [10] Individuals have the ability to learn from failures and this impacts society as a whole.<\/span><\/p>\n

These lessons remind me of Romans 5:3-5.\u00a0 \u201cWe know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God\u2019s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

__________________________________________________________________________\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

[1] Nassim Nicholas Taleb, <\/span>Antifragile<\/span><\/i>, New York: Random House, p.3<\/span><\/p>\n

[2] Ibid. p.58<\/span><\/p>\n

[3] Jo Nelson, Leadership and Derailment, Plenary at Oxford with Dld. students, September 2023<\/span><\/p>\n

[4] Kutter Callaway and William B. Whitney, <\/span>Theology for Psychology and Counseling: An Invitation to Holistic Christian Practice<\/span><\/i>, Grand Rapids, Baker Academic, 2022, p.137<\/span><\/p>\n

[5] Ibid. p.151<\/span><\/p>\n

[6] Nassim Nicholas Taleb, <\/span>Antifragile<\/span><\/i>, New York: Random House, p.380<\/span><\/p>\n

[6] Albert Ellis, <\/span>Overcoming Resistance<\/span><\/i>: <\/span>A Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy Integrated Approach<\/span><\/i>, New York: Springer, p.216<\/span><\/p>\n

[7] Robert Kegan & Lisa Laskow Lahey, <\/span>Immunity to Change<\/span><\/i>, Boston: Harvard Business Review, p.215<\/span><\/p>\n

[8] Nassim Nicholas Taleb, <\/span>Antifragile<\/span><\/i>, New York: Random House, p.74<\/span><\/p>\n

[9] Kutter Callaway and William B. Whitney, <\/span>Theology for Psychology and Counseling: An Invitation to Holistic Christian Practice<\/span><\/i>, Grand Rapids, Baker Academic, 2022 p.120<\/span><\/p>\n

[10] Nassim Nicholas Taleb, <\/span>Antifragile<\/span><\/i>, New York: Random House, p.391<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The book Antifragile is not for the faint of heart. The term \u201cantifragile\u201d is difficult to define, but the author Nassim Taleb describes it this way: \u201cThe resilient resists shocks and stays the same; the antifragile gets better.\u201d [1] Through my lens as a Marriage and Family Therapist, I will provide a summary of a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":165,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2412,2411],"class_list":["post-34321","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-antifragile","tag-taleb","cohort-dlgp01"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34321","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/165"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34321"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34321\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":34322,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34321\/revisions\/34322"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34321"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34321"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34321"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}