\u201cA clergy person is more like a parent or step-parent\u201d[1]. This was the moment I leaned in to the words of Martin Percy. Not that he lacked my attention before, but I had never heard these words applied in such a matter-of-fact way. I had said them in moments of frustration, yet now these were words that framed my own leadership experience.<\/p>\n
RARE Leadership\u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n This is the same experience I had reading Rare Leadership: 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy and Engagement in the People You Lead. <\/i>The authors, Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, argue that leadership is fundamentally relational, which means the leader leads more out of who they are than what they do[2]. Using the latest research in cognitive science, Warner and Wilder unpack the habits of relational leaders that they explain using the acronym RARE[3].\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n RARE Leaders<\/b><\/p>\n The fundamental problem that Warner and Wilder want to address is that \u201cMany leaders, business people, pastors, team leaders, and influencers never receive any training in leadership\u201d[4]. This poignant observation leads them to describe much of the leadership that is on display as \u201csandbox leadership\u201d that is characterized by \u201c\u2026a lack of emotional maturity [that] creates catastrophic consequences for their unsuspecting followers\u201d[5].\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Warner and Wilder argue that the solution is not more information and better choices, which has been the historical and contemporary approach to leadership and formation[6]. Instead, a new approach is needed that gets into the \u201cfast track\u201d aspect of the brain, which the authors argue, is to change a person\u2019s identity[7]. The solution is essentially to create new a new identity through habits (RARE) that reprogram the brain to behave in healthy ways that result in positive and effective leadership[8]. These RARE habits are remain relational, act like yourself, return to joy, and endure hardships well[9]. Interestingly, James Clear offered a similar argument in his seminal work, Atomic Habits. Clear argues that the way to make different choices is to assume the identity of the person you want to be and the habits will follow[10]. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Age of Maturity<\/b><\/p>\n What I found fascinating about Warner and Wilder\u2019s assessment, especially given Martyn Percy\u2019s observation, is the ability to endure hardship based on a person\u2019s emotional maturity. Warner and Wilder argue that people have emotional ages that do not correspond to their biological age. These emotional ages are Infant Maturity, Child-Level Maturity, Adult-Level Maturity, Parent-Level Maturity and Elder-Level Maturity[11]. It is no wonder I felt like a parent to members of my congregation, even those who are decades older than I am. This also explains the times I have displayed less-than compelling leadership. It is all about emotional maturity. As Warner and Wilder put it, \u201cMost of our churches are not lacking for talented or gifted people. Yet they are starving for leaders with the maturity to love well\u201d[12].\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Conclusion<\/b><\/p>\n Leading is rational and it takes emotional maturity to lead well. This is the resounding thought that I carry away from Rare Leadership<\/i>. It is a reminder that we are all in a web of relationships, so it should not suppose us when we feel like a parent or step-parent. We may also find ourselves as the child who needs to develop and mature to the level of competency that is needed for a particular organizational-family. This is a book that more leaders need to read and re-read. I know I will.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u200c1. Martyn Percy, Doctor of Leadership and Global Perspectives Saturday AM Lectures<\/i>. Oxford, United Kingdom, September 24, 2023.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n 2.Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, Rare Leadership : 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead<\/i> (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2016), 22.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n 3. Ibid., 46.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n 4. Ibid., 20.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n 5. Ibid., 41-42.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n 6. Ibid., 44.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n 7. Ibid., 46.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n 8. Ibid.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n 9. Ibid., 25-26, 46.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n 10. James Clear, Atomic Habits: Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones<\/i> (New York, New York: Avery, An Imprint Of Penguin Random House, 2018), 33.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n 11. Warner and Wilder, 179-183.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n 12. Ibid., 182.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cA clergy person is more like a parent or step-parent\u201d[1]. This was the moment I leaned in to the words of Martin Percy. Not that he lacked my attention before, but I had never heard these words applied in such a matter-of-fact way. I had said them in moments of frustration, yet now these were […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":163,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2859],"class_list":["post-33400","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-warner-wilder-rare-ledership-dlgp01","cohort-dlgp01"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33400","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/163"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33400"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33400\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":33401,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33400\/revisions\/33401"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33400"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33400"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33400"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}