{"id":32036,"date":"2023-03-25T10:57:23","date_gmt":"2023-03-25T17:57:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=32036"},"modified":"2023-03-25T10:57:23","modified_gmt":"2023-03-25T17:57:23","slug":"tiktok-gets-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/tiktok-gets-me\/","title":{"rendered":"TikTok Gets Me"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u201cIf you don\u2019t like TikTok it\u2019s because you haven\u2019t spent enough time on it. Once they figure out which mental illness you have, your celebrity crushes, and which cute animal you like the most\u2026it gets really good.\u201d (random internet meme)<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

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This meme is not only humorous, it is true, and it\u2019s talking about me. I used<\/em><\/strong> to roll my eyes at TikTok, believing it to be full of silly dances I didn\u2019t have time to learn. That was before I actually started flipping through the videos. Very quickly the TikTok algorithm figured out my likes, dislikes, obsessions, how to make me laugh, cry, and everything in between. I felt seen. TikTok gets me. I now go to sleep each night to videos of dogs being rescued or doing funny tricks, animals in the wild, or easy recipes for busy nights, life hacks, videos advising this middle aged mother what not to wear (my tween daughter\u2019s preference for me to watch), and Taylor Swift or Avett Brothers videos. I still get the occasional silly TikTok dance but I still don\u2019t have time to learn it because I\u2019m too busy watching videos of dogs.<\/p>\n

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However, in between dog and \u201cwhat not to wear\u201d videos I did make the time to read Bobby Duffy\u2019s book, Why We are Wrong About Nearly Everything<\/u> and found that his book speaks directly to my experience on TikTok as well as on other social media platforms.<\/p>\n

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We all know that algorithms are at work behind the scenes instantly curating our feeds so that we only see things that matter to us. Many of us have even had the eerie experience of mentioning a product one day and having an advertisement for that very product show up in our feed the next. (I swear there have been times when I have merely THOUGHT of a product and had it appear in my feed the next time I opened an app.) Whether we are on TikTok, Facebook, Amazon, or any other internet site, the algorithms are working to amplify our biases and influence our perceptions of the world. In a way, social media is telling us \u201cwhat to think\u201d and more often than not, we believe it.<\/p>\n

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But it\u2019s not entirely the fault of social media. We too are at fault for how we think. In his book Thinking Fast and Slow<\/u> Daniel Kahneman talks about System 1 and System 2 thinking.[1]<\/a> System one is quick, intuitive, automatic thinking using heuristics to make a judgment. System 2 is slower, deliberate, and analytical. When we allow the TikTok algorithm to tell us what to think we are using our system 1 thinking without stopping to consider that the algorithm is going to feed us what we want to see and believe, even sometimes what we already know. If we take a moment and allow System 2 to take the wheel we have a chance of fighting off our \u201cdelusion.\u201d[2]<\/a> Perhaps we might even look up another video from an opposing view point, but probably not\u2026because, algorithms make those opposing viewpoints difficult to find.<\/p>\n

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Duffy writes, \u201cThe starting point for most discussion of why we\u2019re so wrong is the view the answer is solely out there, in what the media, social media, and politicians tell us. We\u2019re wrong only because we\u2019ve been misled, rather than it being how we think, the repeated errors we make. As we\u2019ve seen, there is no single cause, and there is definitely insufficient evidence to conclude that we\u2019re not just wrong about the world because our media or politics are misleading us. Rather our delusions need to be seen as arising from a complex system of forces, both in our heads and in the world, that reinforce each other.\u201d [3]<\/a><\/p>\n

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This is important to be aware of as a leader. As we make decisions we are always being influenced by what we are being told and how we think. These influences can create what Duffy calls a \u201cfeedback loop.\u201d He writes, \u201cOur biases also help create a feedback loop. We are more likely to be exposed to information that confirms our existing beliefs, which in turn reinforces those beliefs, leading us to seek out more of the same kind of information. This can make it very hard to change our minds, even in the face of new evidence.\u201d[4]<\/a> In his book, A Failure of Nerve<\/u>, Friedman urges leaders to be self-differentiated. He writes, \u201cA self-differentiated leader is one who has clarity about his or her own life goals, and therefore, someone who is less likely to become lost in the anxious emotional processes swirling about. The clarity of self, and the consequent freedom from people-pleasing, is what makes it possible for such a leader to stay in touch with the needs of those around him or her without becoming emeshed in them.\u201d[5]<\/a> Self-differentiation is crucial in an effective leader however, in light of Duffy\u2019s book, I wonder if sometimes self-differentiation isn\u2019t exactly that, but is instead \u201cdelusion.\u201d<\/p>\n

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For example, I know a pastor who is usually self-differentiated in a very healthy way but upon bringing the congregation back to in-person worship after the pandemic immediately focused on beginning a capital campaign. The facilities could definitely use upkeep, the church was at a cross-road as to how to best serve the community. The pastor was to retire in a few years. Now was the time for a capital campaign if this pastor was to see it through, yet the staff was worried. They felt discombobulated, the congregation was barely back in the building and rarely did the same people come two Sundays in a row. Stressed out, the staff kept saying, \u201cBut I thought we were supposed to be focused on building community!\u201d Anxiety was high and yet the pastor was determined to move forward with the capital campaign.<\/p>\n

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Finally, and with humility, the pastor listened to the staff, apologized for jumping too far ahead (system 1 thinking) and changed directions giving space to build community. There will be a capital campaign in the near future but only after the congregation and staff have a chance to get their feet on the ground.<\/p>\n

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Like I said, this pastor is usually very self-differentiated, making positive decisions, leading with confidence and humility. However, in the stress of leading through the pandemic and bringing a congregation back to in-person worship, the pastor got caught up in a sort of feedback loop causing a delusion. This makes me wonder if sometimes \u201cself-differentiation\u201d can become a stumbling block. Perhaps there are valid reasons for the anxiety of the system. Self-differentiation is important in a leader but always with a healthy dose of humility.<\/p>\n

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I experienced this feedback loop when defining my NPO. I had experienced the difficulty of finding a therapist in Bend, OR, where I live. I heard from many others about their own inabilities to secure therapy when it was needed. I assumed that this meant there are not enough therapists in Bend to deal with our mental health crisis. I made a snap judgment based on my own experience and because I was being told my experience was the only experience.<\/p>\n

As I conducted my interviews and my workshop though I found out otherwise. There are plenty of therapists as well as other mental health services in Bend. The problem lies more in how to get the word out about how to access these services. As I continue my research I predict this sort of thing will happen many times. I will make a judgment based on what I am being told and how I think, only to do the research and find out otherwise.<\/p>\n

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Overall, I found this book to be interesting building on the concepts we\u2019ve been learning about in our other readings this semester. The ideas from Duffy\u2019s book will (hopefully) cause me to continually be aware of how I am making decisions, though as we also learned from the book, I may not be able to extricate myself from the endless feedback loop!<\/p>\n

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[1]<\/a> \u00a0\u00a0Kahneman, Daniel.\u00a0Thinking, Fast and Slow<\/em><\/span>. 1st edition. Farrar, Straus and Giroux. 2011, Kindle\u00a0location 264<\/p>\n

[2]<\/a> Duffy, Bobby, Why We’re Wrong About Nearly Everything: A Theory of Human Misunderstanding<\/u>, Basic Books 2019, Kindle edition, p.11.<\/p>\n

[3]<\/a> Ibid, Kindle, p 203.<\/p>\n

[4]<\/a> Ibid. p. 52<\/p>\n

[5]<\/a> Friedman, Edwin H., and Peter Steinke.\u00a0A Failure of Nerve<\/span>, Revised Edition: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix<\/span><\/em>. 10th Anniversary edition. New York: Church Publishing, 2017, p13.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u201cIf you don\u2019t like TikTok it\u2019s because you haven\u2019t spent enough time on it. Once they figure out which mental illness you have, your celebrity crushes, and which cute animal you like the most\u2026it gets really good.\u201d (random internet meme) This meme is not only humorous, it is true, and it\u2019s talking about me. I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":170,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2535,2640],"class_list":["post-32036","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dlpg02","tag-duffy","cohort-dlgp02"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32036","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/170"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32036"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32036\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":32037,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32036\/revisions\/32037"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32036"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32036"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32036"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}