{"id":31902,"date":"2023-03-16T22:40:08","date_gmt":"2023-03-17T05:40:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=31902"},"modified":"2023-03-16T22:40:08","modified_gmt":"2023-03-17T05:40:08","slug":"by-our-love-by-our-love-love-one-another","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/by-our-love-by-our-love-love-one-another\/","title":{"rendered":"By our Love, by our Love…Love one another."},"content":{"rendered":"

John 13:35 says: \u201cThis is how everyone will know that you are my disciples, when you love each other.\u201d\u00a0 One another shows up 100 times in the new testament of the Bible, and Love one another 18 times.\u00a0 What a powerful commandment.\u00a0 As I read Simon P. Walker\u2019s \u201c\u02c6Leading out of who you are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership\u201d, the old song I sang at camp as a child: \u201cAnd they\u2019ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love, yes they\u2019ll know we are Christians by our love\u201d kept replaying in my mind.\u00a0 As I\u2019ve entered this reconstruction phase of my faith journey it is the action, the \u201cShow me the money\u201d [1]<\/a>part of mine and other faith.\u00a0 We are in a space and time where our youth want authenticity.\u00a0 It\u2019s the \u201cya, great, I\u2019m glad that\u2019s what you say you believe, now show me you believe this\u201d.\u00a0 Our youth are bringing us to our knees in humility with the great ask of authenticity, be who you say you are and PROVE IT!\u00a0\u00a0 “Leadership is about who you are, not what you know or what skills you have. Why is this? There are two reasons: Leadership is about trust and it’s about power.” [2]<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

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What is power, how do I get it, how do I keep it and for all goodness sake, how do I not let it take me over? \u00a0In Simon Walker\u2019s work on leadership, I found resonance with his understanding that Leadership requires in \u201cIntegrity, courage and compassion exercise: by listing a leader you admire: A leader you don\u2019t admire and yourself\u201d and give them and yourself a rating of 0-10 in each category of Integrity, courage and compassion\u201d. [3]<\/a>\u00a0 I have found in all my years of leadership how easy it is to turn to making decisions out of scarcity and not abundance.\u00a0 A desperate need to hold onto power.\u00a0 I am currently working within a system that is making decisions out of scarcity and it\u2019s heartbreaking, because I smell captain fear at the helm.<\/p>\n

\n

One concept out of this whole book that I completely agree with in Leadership is Trust.\u00a0 People will not follow you with out trust so how do we create a culture of trust?\u00a0 In my experience, in every support group I have led, whether it\u2019s a grief group or support group, or mental health support, it all begins with trust.\u00a0 Parker Palmer is my go-to guru for building a culture and environment of trust.\u00a0 He utilizes touchstones that are spoken and followed as rules for each session with a circle of trust and I even utilized one from his book Hidden Wholeness as a title to a blog.\u00a0 Here are these touchstones:<\/p>\n

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  1. Extend and Receive Welcome: practice hospitality.<\/li>\n
  2. Be present as fully as possible: Be here with your doubts, fears, and failings as well as your convictions, joys and successes, your listening as well as your speaking.<\/li>\n
  3. What is offered in the circle of trust is by invitation, not demand. This is not a \u2018share or die\u201d event!<\/li>\n
  4. Speak your truth is ways that respect other people\u2019s truth. Our views of reality may differ, but speaking one\u2019s truth into the circle of trust does not mean interpreting, correcting, or debating what they say. Use \u201cI\u201d statements.<\/li>\n
  5. No fixing, no saving, no advising and no setting each other straight. Most difficult guideline for those in a helping profession. But it is vital rule if we wish to make a space that welcomes the soul, the inner teacher.<\/li>\n
  6. Learn to respond to others with honest, open questions instead of counsel or corrections. We help \u201chear each other into\u00a0 deeper speech\u201d.<\/li>\n
  7. When the going get\u2019s rough turn to inquiry and wonder!<\/li>\n
  8. Attend to your own inner teacher. Pay attention to your own responses and reactions to your most important teacher, yourself.<\/li>\n
  9. Trust and learn from the Silence. Treat silence as an equal member of the group\u2026don\u2019t rush to speak into it.<\/li>\n
  10. Observe deep confidentiality.<\/li>\n
  11. Know that it is possible to leave the circle with whatever it was that you needed when you arrived.[4]<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    \n

    Please look into these guidelines, they are life changing.\u00a0 As a Chaplain, I do not do the saving, I sit present to them listening to their own quiet shy soul.\u00a0 This is leadership. What if our world leaders took these touchstones seriously\u2026What if?\u00a0 Parker Palmer, Simon Walker and the Bible had it right\u2026it is by our actions and living in to who we are, not what we are, that we will change the world.\u00a0 Love one another, and they will know we are Christians by our love, by our love.<\/p>\n

    \n

    \n

    [1] Jerry McGuire\u00a0directed by Cameron Crowe, (1996) United States: Tristar Productions.<\/a><\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    [2]<\/a> Walker, Simon P. Leading out of Who you are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership. <\/em>England, Piquant Editions, 2007. Pg 5<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    [3]<\/a> Ibid, pg 11.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    [4]<\/a> Palmer, Parker. A Hidden Wholeness; The Journey Toward An Undivided Life in a Wounded World. San Francisco, CA Jossey-Bass, 2008. Pg 217.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    John 13:35 says: \u201cThis is how everyone will know that you are my disciples, when you love each other.\u201d\u00a0 One another shows up 100 times in the new testament of the Bible, and Love one another 18 times.\u00a0 What a powerful commandment.\u00a0 As I read Simon P. Walker\u2019s \u201c\u02c6Leading out of who you are: Discovering […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":187,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2707,2708,2489,1718],"class_list":["post-31902","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-palmer","tag-touchstones","tag-dlgp02","tag-walker","cohort-dlgp02"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31902","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/187"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31902"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31902\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31903,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31902\/revisions\/31903"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31902"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31902"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31902"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}