At the beginning of my second semester at Berkeley, my friend and I were invited to attend a leadership training. We were newly selected leaders of a campus student organization that worked with high school students of color to assist with applying for admission into UC Berkeley and providing retention services after admissions. The training was sponsored by Student Services, and we were flown to San Diego on a small plane. We pretended was a private jet and we acted the part by pulling out our sunglasses and strutting in a very dramatic way to the plane. As I look back, I can\u2019t help but laugh. The fullness of some memories always amazes me. I can remember every detail of that flight but can\u2019t seem to remember where my cell phone is most days. I have another memory that has remained fresh for me, during the training we were asked to choose one characteristic that we thought was most important. I said trust and my friend said respect. Many years later we discussed the training and why we had such different responses to the question. What we eventually discovered is that are choices traced back to our childhood experiences, to the places that we felt emotionally and physically safe as well as unsafe. It never occurred to us that understanding the origin of our choices would help us as leaders. What was clear to us was that we had a job to do and that the academic future of the young people we encountered could be tremendously impacted if we did our job well. Leadership was strictly goal oriented at that point in our limited experience as leaders.
\nI was fascinated by the examples that Walker presents in Chapter Six of how leadership patterns can begin to develop in two crucial points of childhood. “The first is in early childhood when we are shaped by our parents: the second is in adolescence, when we are shaped by our peers.\u201d(1) The factors that contribute to the formation of a secured ego versus a unsecured ego can be associated with safety and protection. Walker writes:
\n\u201cThe reason that trust is so important to the formation of the ego is to do with danger. We need to appreciate just how threatening the world is, especially to a small child, surrounded by what seem like powerful giants, any one of whom can hurt them. When we are small, we are vulnerable and need protecting. Our \u2018ropes\u00b4 protect us: they give us limits and they also mean we are attached to powerful figures who can fight on our behalf. Without these ropes, the growing child soon feels vulnerable and anxious and has to find other ways to protect themselves.\u201d(2)
\nOur ropes determine where we see limits, where we feel protected and where we feel anxious and vulnerable. If our ropes protect us, do they also place limits on what we deem as safe and what is unsafe. How does this translate to interactions with people?
\nWhen I think about leadership qualities, I tend to focus on the moral and ethical characteristics. I run through these questions in my mind; Is She\/he honest? Is she\/he thoughtful with their words? Is she\/he humble? I want to know who you are, especially in a religious setting. It is not enough to know that Bible and obtain the appropriate credentials, I want to know that when things get hectic that you have some character traits that will govern you. Walker states, \u201cmany roles in life can be adequately fulfilled by acquiring the necessary skills. With sufficient training, you can draft architectural drawings, legal documents, and financial agreements, for example. But leadership is different. Leadership is about who you are, not what you know or what skills you have.\u201d(3) agree with this and have witnessed firsthand how painful it is to discover that \u201cwho a person is\u201d does not align with how they are represented on paper.
\nI found a lot of useful information in this book. It also raised a few questions for me. As I\u2019ve stated in previous posts, for me all roads should connect to my NPO. I thought about how this book might be useful as I work with Church leaders whose leadership style reflects experiences from their childhood, experiences that may limit their ability to engage a new perspective. I must admit, it makes me a bit uneasy. Walker provides an interesting explanation of the journey of a leader, he states, \u201cA leader leads people from where they currently are to another place, which at first is unknown to them and can be imagined. To get there, they have to leave the safety and familiarity of their present situation, to embrace an unknown, and perhaps dangerous, future\u201d(4) If this Is accurate, does that also mean that without the feeling of safety and familiarity, a leader cannot be effective? How does that translate to team members that have biases rooted in racial disparity? With each week\u2019s reading, I am discovering more topics to explore for my research. I don\u2019t currently have answers to these questions, but I become more hopeful as the weeks go by. Maybe I am too much of a dreamer, but I still believe that my work (our work) can make the world a better place. I know that it sounds youthful, perhaps na\u00efve\u2026I\u2019m okay with that. Loved Ones, I still believe!<\/p>\n
1.Simon Walker, Leading out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership (Carlisle, CA: Piquant, 2007), 53-54.
\n 2.Ibid., 54.
\n 3.Ibid., 5.
\n 4.Ibid., 6.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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