{"id":31266,"date":"2023-02-23T09:35:42","date_gmt":"2023-02-23T17:35:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=31266"},"modified":"2023-02-23T09:38:40","modified_gmt":"2023-02-23T17:38:40","slug":"ive-known-anxiety-and-fragility","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/ive-known-anxiety-and-fragility\/","title":{"rendered":"I’ve Known Anxiety and Fragility"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was a young adult, eager and enthusiastic, with my first experience of anxiety. \u00a0Maybe 19? Maybe 20? The memory is still blurred. \u00a0But I remember the thinning of my feelings as my heart palpitated wildly beneath my chest, the involuntary panic that I would never want another soul to know I carried around in my body. \u00a0With multiple college textbooks spread in front of me at the library, my Bible was the first book I read leading me to comforting Scriptures like Psalm 46:10, \u201cBe still and know that I am God.\u201d \u00a0Or verses I knew by heart that I prayed silently, \u201dWhen you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you<\/span><\/em>\u201d (Isaiah 43:2). \u00a0Oh, my deep trust in God and His Promises carried me for many years up until young adulthood anxieties plunged my soul into a tsunami of emotions, making me question if I was the leader others at my Christian University and church continually reflected back to me saying, \u201cYou have the personality, charisma, and gifts.\u201d[1]<\/a><\/sup>\u00a0 These were the years before the internet, text messaging and instant anything! So when my first real experience of anxiety swept through, leaving me on the floor of my college dorm\u2019s bathroom for an entire morning, I did what most young women in the late 1980s did: I found my closest girlfriends and wept in their presence asking, \u201cWhy am I Like this?[2]<\/a><\/sup>\u00a0And Where\u2019s God in the middle of this?\u201d I don\u2019t remember how long the feelings lasted but I do remember receiving a confident, calm courage to face what was next on my schedule. I felt good. I felt close to God. \u00a0And I felt close to my girlfriends long enough to feel \u201cnormal\u201d . . . until the next time. For years, I would repeat this cycle once in a while (not chronically) while still thinking in the back of my mind, Something is terribly wrong with me.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Reality<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Andy Crouch writes, \u201cWhenever I am with college and high school students, I often say, \u2018The statistics tell us that you are experiencing extraordinary levels of anxiety and depression and loneliness. \u00a0That is not because you are unhealthy people in a normal world, that is because you are normal people living in an unhealthy world.\u2019\u201d[3]<\/a><\/sup>\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou are normal people living in an unhealthy world<\/em>,\u201d resonates deeply with me. <\/span><\/p>\n

The Problem<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

I witnessed rates of rising anxiety and depression among college students in the last two decades. \u00a0The statistics are alarming. The symptomatic displays are overwhelming. In 2016, I was part of a team of professors who helped start the writing studio for incoming students. One student quit showing up for classes which impacted her overall grade average. \u00a0When I reached out asking her why she stopped attending classes, but still turned in the work sporadically, she explained she was too anxious to sit in the class. When I mentioned this to the younger, new director of the writing program, he explained this was her choice to make, not mine, and I was to pass her. Discussion closed. In 2020, more than one third of my public speaking students struggled with getting out of bed to attend class due to lack of sleep and anxiety at night. One student, who suffered from PTSD, called me after almost every class asking for notes saying he was sorry to miss again. \u00a0The attendance policy for undergraduate students needed to shift or my students would fail. \u00a0An employee from the disabilities services department met with myself and the student creating an accommodation boosting the student\u2019s chances of passing the course. Of course I would do anything to help a struggling student to succeed, but in the back of my mind I wondered, \u201cAre we creating psychologically weak future leaders?[4]<\/a><\/sup>\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

The truth is, I could never ask that question aloud. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Risk<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

In my mind, the challenge presented to us in this week\u2019s reading seemed extraordinary and brilliant: We need leaders who are just plain desirous of nerve: <\/span><\/p>\n

Decisive<\/span><\/p>\n

Self-individualized<\/span><\/p>\n

Willing to be exposed and vulnerable and<\/span><\/p>\n

Persistent in the face of rejection[5]<\/a><\/sup>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But there\u2019s a question niggling in the back of my mind as I read A Failure of Nerve<\/span><\/em>.<\/em> \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Would Edwin Friedman stand by his thesis in front of leaders who are currently on the front lines of working with younger populations?<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

The Way Forward<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll offer Friedman\u2019s own words to serve as a partial response, \u201cIn any hostile environment whatsoever, whether the toxic force is outside or inside the person, most often the critical variable in survival has less to do with the response of the endangered organism. \u00a0It is responsibility, not empathy, that is the crucial variable in this equation\u201d (144).<\/span>[6]<\/a><\/sup><\/p>\n

If university professors, young adult pastors, coaches, parents and others self-differentiate by being responsible for their own integrity (rather than being empathetic), might their failure of nerve cost them their jobs? Another way to ask this is: Wouldn\u2019t lowering a young person\u2019s \u201cpain threshold\u201d be the same as helping them avoid challenges and compromising their failure of nerve?<\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps the prophetic word responding to my curiosity is the book\u2019s subtle take away for leaders: Those working with younger people can modify relationships through their non-anxious presence rather than forcing, \u201cthe way we used to do things.\u201d I still cannot see or imagine how one doesn\u2019t compromise their integrity but I am open to discussion.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Edwin?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n

[1]<\/a>\u00a0Blackaby, Henry T., and Richard Blackaby. <\/span>Spiritual Leadership: Moving People on to God\u2019s Agenda, Revised and Expanded<\/span>. Revised edition. Nashville, Tenn: B&H Books, 2011.<\/span><\/p>\n

The authors <\/span>note that factors outside people\u2019s control, such as size, looks, genius, and charisma contribute to their capacity to lead. However, other leadership qualities within people\u2019s control, if developed, can significantly enhance their leadership ability.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

[2]<\/a>\u00a0Campbell, Kobe. <\/span>Why Am I Like This?: How to Break Cycles, Heal from Trauma, and Restore Your Faith<\/span>. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2023. \u00a0I heard Kobe Campbell speak at GFU\u2019s chapel last month where she confessed to showing up at a Christian Athletic group event struggling with severe anxiety and depression when the Christian leader asked her to stop attending because she could hurt her witness for Christ. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

[3]<\/a>\u00a0Crouch, Andy. <\/span>The Life We\u2019re Looking For: Reclaiming Relationship in a Technological World<\/span>. New York: Convergent Books, 2022.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

\n

[4]<\/a>\u00a0Lukianoff, Greg, and Jonathan Haidt. <\/span>The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure<\/span>. Penguin Books, 2018. <\/span>Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt, say that in the name of emotional well-being, a culture that allows the concept of \u201csafety\u201d to creep so far that it equates emotional discomfort with physical danger is a culture that encourages people to systematically protect one another from the very experiences embedded in daily life that they need in order to become strong and healthy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

\n

[5]<\/a>\u00a0Friedman, Edwin H. <\/span>A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix<\/span>. New York: SEABURY BOOKS, 2007.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

\n

[6]<\/a>\u00a0Friedman, <\/span>A Failure of Nerve<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was a young adult, eager and enthusiastic, with my first experience of anxiety. \u00a0Maybe 19? Maybe 20? The memory is still blurred. \u00a0But I remember the thinning of my feelings as my heart palpitated wildly beneath my chest, the involuntary panic that I would never want another soul to know I carried around in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":180,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2489,2637,2639,2,1660,922,681,236,1096,1589,2032,2638],"class_list":["post-31266","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dlgp02","tag-youngpeople","tag-coach-ministry","tag-dminlgp","tag-edwin-friedman","tag-empathy","tag-failure-of-nerve","tag-friedman","tag-genz","tag-pastoral-leadership","tag-self-differentiation","tag-youth","cohort-dlgp02"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31266","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/180"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31266"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31266\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31270,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31266\/revisions\/31270"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31266"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31266"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31266"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}