{"id":31206,"date":"2023-02-20T23:15:08","date_gmt":"2023-02-21T07:15:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=31206"},"modified":"2023-02-20T23:15:08","modified_gmt":"2023-02-21T07:15:08","slug":"true-and-false","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/true-and-false\/","title":{"rendered":"True and False"},"content":{"rendered":"

Edwin Friedman writes in A Failure of Nerve : Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix<\/em> , \u201cThe notion that an entity can modify surrounding relationships through its presence rather than its forcefulness, moreover, is not unknown to science. Catalysts function that way, for example.”[i]<\/a><\/p>\n

Friedman emphasizes leading by presence, by virtue of who one is as a leader, in hopes of catalyzing change, growth and health within an organization. This idea is a variation on the theme of character development that seems to crop up in our discussions week after week. However, Friedman comes at this concept in a few unique ways that had me doing double-takes and reorienting my thinking (and occasionally arguing with him out loud as I was reading, if I\u2019m perfectly honest.)<\/p>\n

Friedman warns against three pitfalls in leadership, which to me were completely counter-intuitive at first glance. In drawing a parallel to 15th century explorers, he calls these pitfalls the \u201cequators\u201d of modern society that \u201ckeep our thinking processes stuck and preserve \u201cold world\u201d views, thus limiting our horizons and range.”[ii]<\/a><\/p>\n

The first pitfall that Friedman warns against is being exclusively oriented toward \u201cknow-how\u201d or data. He explains this point eloquently by saying, “As long as leaders\u2014 parents, healers, managers\u2014 base their confidence on how much data they have acquired, they are doomed to feeling inadequate, forever.”[iii]<\/a> I see his point and I resonate, but I also have concerns. I think the root of my unease can be explained by the book\u2019s originally being published in 1999. Since that era the proverbial pendulum has swung so far in the other direction. In recent years we\u2019ve seen such a disregard for data, facts, and truth. Do leaders and organizations in the current climate really need to be told to de-emphasize the facts?<\/p>\n

Friedman\u2019s second fallacy also had me slamming on the breaks. He posits that empathy has been overemphasized. He argues, “Societal regression has too often perverted the use of empathy into a disguise for anxiety, a rationalization for the failure to define a position, and a power tool in the hands of the \u201csensitive.\u201d It has generally been my experience that in any community or family discussion, those who are the first to introduce concern for empathy feel powerless, and are trying to use the togetherness force of a regressed society to get those whom they perceive to have power to adapt to them. I have consistently found the introduction of the subject of \u201cempathy\u201d into family, institutional, and community meetings to be reflective of, as well as an effort to induce, a failure of nerve among its leadership.”[iv]<\/a> It seems like Friedman is throwing the baby out with the bathwater here. Any system, any virtue, any blessing can be perverted. If we follow his train of thought, we shouldn\u2019t care for the poor because a few might take advantage. Neither should we welcome the stranger because he might do us harm. If we follow this logic, we might even conclude that we should stop up our ears when the marginalized or the abused share their stories. After all, they might be doing it to manipulate us. These are dangerous postures for those of us who follow Christ. First of all, they are rooted in fear and completely opposed to the biblical mandate to love our neighbors, as Catherine McNeil has written about in book Fearing Bravely: Risking Love for our Neighbors, Strangers and Enemies.<\/em>[v]<\/a> Secondly, contrary to what Friedman assumes, making \u201cthe effort to understand another\u201d and \u201cthe endeavor to make one\u2019s own self clear\u201d[vi]<\/a> are far from mutually exclusive. This reminds me of the excellent (though far from new) work of Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend on boundaries. Cloud and Townsend guide parents to make boundaries clear and make communication safe while responding with empathy and firmness at the same time.[vii]<\/a> The leader who can accomplish this has not suffered a failure of nerve.<\/p>\n

The third fallacy that Friedman identifies is “a tension between individuality and togetherness.\u201d[viii]<\/a> \u00a0He says, \u201cFor life to continue to evolve, all newly developed forms of togetherness ultimately must be in the service of a more enriched individuality, and not the other way around.”[ix]<\/a> While I wouldn\u2019t completely contradict this idea, it does bring to mind a question. On the last day of our South Africa advance, Dr. Zondi addressed our group and something he said has stuck with me. He shared a concept that is foundational to South African culture and leadership \u2013 Ubuntu. He explained it as the idea that I exist because of someone else; I exist for someone else. I\u2019m wondering how he would respond to the concept of differentiation. Is there an \u201cUbuntu\u201d way to view differentiation? What would differentiation look like in different cultures, particularly those that are more collective-oriented?<\/p>\n

I agree with Friedman that we need to surmount some significant hurdles in our collective leadership. I\u2019m simply wondering if the challenges he has identified could be explored with a more multi-cultural perspective and if his thinking could be re-conceived for our current moment in history.<\/p>\n

_________________<\/p>\n

[i]<\/a> Friedman, Edwin H..\u00a0A Failure of Nerve : Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix (10th Anniversary, Revised Edition), <\/em>Church Publishing Incorporated, 2017.*\u00a0ProQuest Ebook Central*, http:\/\/ebookcentral.proquest.com\/lib\/georgefox\/detail.action?docID=6793400<\/a>. 176.<\/p>\n

[ii]<\/a> Ibid. 83-84.<\/p>\n

[iii]<\/a> Ibid. 82.<\/p>\n

[iv]<\/a> Ibid. 107.<\/p>\n

[v]<\/a> McNeil, Catherine. Fearing Bravely: Risking Love for our Neighbors, Strangers and Enemies.<\/em> NavPress, 2022. 7.<\/p>\n

[vi]<\/a> Friedman, Edwin H..\u00a0A Failure of Nerve : Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix (10th Anniversary, Revised Edition),<\/em> Church Publishing Incorporated, 2017.*\u00a0ProQuest Ebook Central*, http:\/\/ebookcentral.proquest.com\/lib\/georgefox\/detail.action?docID=6793400<\/a>. 107.<\/p>\n

[vii]<\/a> Cloud, Henry, John Sims Townsend, and Lisa Guest. Boundaries with Kids: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Children<\/em>. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1998. 194-197.<\/p>\n

[viii]<\/a> Friedman, Edwin H..\u00a0A Failure of Nerve : Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix (10th Anniversary, Revised Edition), <\/em>Church Publishing Incorporated, 2017.*\u00a0ProQuest Ebook Central*, http:\/\/ebookcentral.proquest.com\/lib\/georgefox\/detail.action?docID=6793400<\/a>. 128.<\/p>\n

[ix]<\/a> Ibid. 132.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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