{"id":31095,"date":"2023-02-15T20:45:34","date_gmt":"2023-02-16T04:45:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=31095"},"modified":"2023-02-15T20:46:19","modified_gmt":"2023-02-16T04:46:19","slug":"what-do-you-want-them-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/what-do-you-want-them-to-say-about-you-at-your-funeral\/","title":{"rendered":"What do you want them to say about you at your funeral?"},"content":{"rendered":"

When beginning my Masters journey in leadership and management, a colleague of mine asked me if you can actually learn leadership and if so, how does one teach it. It gave me pause – actually – it gave me great<\/em> pause as I had never even pondered the question, “Can leadership be taught?”<\/p>\n

I was glad to see Eve Poole’s book, Leadersmithing<\/em>, dedicated an entire chapter to the different ways leadership is learned. The TLDR; of this is that yes, leadership can be taught. You are not born a great leader and leadership is not hereditary (although she does make several references to the science behind how our brains are formed and influenced by our environment), leadership is indeed a skill that can be learned.<\/p>\n

Which brings me to one of Stephen Covey’s seven habits: begin with the end in mind[1]. What an odd way to learn leadership, to, at the very start, think of what the end might be like. My uncle asked me when I was 14 years old what I wanted people to say about me at my funeral. I’m fairly confidence all I was thinking about at 14 was baseball cards and girls (oddly one did not attract the other). It was another moment that stopped me in my tracks, what did I want people to say at my funeral? I suppose I wanted them to say I was nice, a good friend and maybe helpful. These 30 years later, it doesn’t seem to be that bad of a list, to be honest and little did I know, my uncle was teaching me leadership.<\/p>\n

Leadership can be taught through eulogy virtues[2] which is to think of what character traits you want to build opposed to r\u00e9sum\u00e9 building virtues like career accomplishments and material wealth[3]. Objectively, career success and material gains are far easier to measure than the amount of “niceness” one might have achieved or the level of empathy that could be assigned. And as Poole discusses Chris Nichol’s future proofing framework[4] which pits the idea of knowing the beginning and end points versus knowing the beginning and what you think might be the end point it becomes clear learning leadership is a threshold moment to be experienced[5].<\/p>\n

Nichol’s framework suggests the need to develop a toolkit that will enable you to tackle whatever situation might arise and the threshold concept dictates that a healthy amount of curiosity is a key factor in learning something you haven’t been able to grasp with fullness before. There is no straight line from not being a leader to being a leader.<\/p>\n

In Romans, Paul gives us a framework for building character, an important baseline ingredient for leadership. While visiting Corinth he details the steps of character building: suffering, perseverance, resiliency, character and hope[6]. Which of those steps are you able to give finite instruction on how to accomplish? Put in contrast to a plan to become the director of a department where the Human Resources folks will gladly layout what roles and responsibilities you should undertake in order to be considered a strong candidate. But how does one be directed into an episode of perseverance?<\/p>\n

You will need to intentionally seek out areas where you are uncomfortable and unfamiliar. You’ll need to put yourself in situations where you lack competence and will be found wanting. These are the times where leadership can be learned.<\/p>\n

However, a master in the art of leadership can provide wise counsel on your journey. Studying under someone who has suffered, persevered, grown in resiliency and built their character will expedite your leadership learning.<\/p>\n

My grandparents died within three months of each other. Living the bulk of her adult life in the 50s, 60s and 70s, my grandmother did not have the same opportunities for career advancement as my grandfather did but she found other ways to lead. She founded the recycling program at her condominium before it was adopted by the city as a service, she taught others who to compost and coached other women on how to be successful by selling Tupperware at parties. Today there is a scholarship for students in environmental protection programs at a local college and a classroom is named after her. Her funeral was packed and people had some wonderful things to say about like she was nice, a good friend and definitely helpful.<\/p>\n

My grandfather served in the military, had careers at both a phone company and the postal service. He volunteered and participated in a choir but did not actively seek opportunities where he might be thought of as nice, a good friend nor particularly helpful. His funeral wasn’t as well attended.<\/p>\n

Leadership is, in part, the pursuit of character.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

[1] The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, Stephen Covey<\/p>\n

[2] Poole, page 52<\/p>\n

[3] Poole, page 53<\/p>\n

[4] Poole, page 53<\/p>\n

[5] Robert Coven, https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=GCPYSKSFky4<\/p>\n

[6] Romans 5:3-5<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When beginning my Masters journey in leadership and management, a colleague of mine asked me if you can actually learn leadership and if so, how does one teach it. It gave me pause – actually – it gave me great pause as I had never even pondered the question, “Can leadership be taught?” I was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":175,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2310],"tags":[2489,2090],"class_list":["post-31095","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-doctor-of-leadership-3","tag-dlgp02","tag-poole","cohort-dlgp02"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31095","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/175"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31095"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31095\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31097,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31095\/revisions\/31097"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31095"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31095"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31095"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}