{"id":30891,"date":"2023-02-08T05:26:34","date_gmt":"2023-02-08T13:26:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=30891"},"modified":"2023-02-08T05:26:34","modified_gmt":"2023-02-08T13:26:34","slug":"whats-relationships-got-to-do-with-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/whats-relationships-got-to-do-with-it\/","title":{"rendered":"What\u2019s Relationships Got To Do With It?"},"content":{"rendered":"

A quick Amazon search for \u201cleadership books\u201d will yield over 50,000 results, so either the market is desperate for more leadership wisdom that many people struggle to lead or something else altogether. I am glad I chose to write a book for clergy and congregational leaders for my doctoral project\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t fact-check me on this, but at least half of the leadership books I\u2019ve read have been written by a successful leader, trying to recapture in words what made them successful. By far, the worst leadership books are written by megachurch pastors that need to remind everyone what they don\u2019t already see from their multisite campuses, that they have reached the pinnacle of leadership. A close friend of mine that teaches public policy at a major university\u2019s school of business has said that 95% of the books written on leadership are trash.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, sprinkled in the leadership section of the library are the folks who examine leadership across many sectors from analytical, psychological, and sociological standpoints, such as genuine organizational psychologists.\u00a0<\/span>For example, Rare Leadership<\/span><\/em>, penned by Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, attempts to examine leadership from a theological, cognitive, and emotional perspective. Warner is a former academic and the president of Deeper Walk International, a nonprofit dedicated to the discipleship and counseling of Christians. Wilder is a clinical psychologist experience and the chief neurotheologian of Life Model Works, a nonprofit working at the intersection of theology and brain science.<\/span><\/p>\n

The coauthors take the time to lay out the importance of understanding one\u2019s identity and emotional register as a leader, considering if most people are attuned to these things. Tom Camacho related to this idea when he stated that knowing our true identity as a child of God is a critical understanding for thriving.<\/span>\u00a0[1]<\/span><\/a>\u00a0The hope for readers is that they will cultivate emotional maturity in themselves and those around them. “Lasting transformation takes place when a person’s identity changes and that person becomes comfortable in living out their new identity,\u201d argued Wilder and Warner.<\/span>\u00a0[2]<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

Wilder and Warner take this concept deeper by helping the readers understand what causes some of our relationally disastrous responses to a crisis, difficult employees, and bad choices. They call it the \u201cSlow-track System\u201d and the \u201cFast-track System.\u201d They noted that The Fast-track System maintains identity, supplies motivation, and controls emotions. In contrast, the Slow-track System maintains strategy, solves problems, and plans long term.<\/span>\u00a0[3]<\/span><\/a>\u00a0This is the same school of thought that Daniel Kahneman and Pragya Agarwal labeled \u201cSystem 1\u201d and \u201cSystem 2,\u201d namely that our brains have two primary response mechanisms, unconscious reasoning, and a rational system.<\/span><\/p>\n

As they urged, \u201cRARE leaders use difficulties as opportunities to focus on improving relational skills before improving task management. When the leadership and management systems are running well, they work well together. Leaders with poorly developed master system will find themselves operating almost exclusively out of their brain\u2019s slow-track system.\u201d<\/span>[4]<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

However, for Wilder and Warner, leadership comes down to relationships and how we respond outwardly and inwardly to the people within our organization. They give the acronym R.A.R.E to convey their argument: (R) Remain relational; (A) Act like yourself; (R) Return to joy; (E) Endure hardship well.<\/span>\u00a0[5]<\/span><\/a>\u00a0They weave throughout each of these uncommon habits the cognitive, psychological, and sociological mechanisms that either embrace or resist the capacity for trust, joy, and engagement.<\/span><\/p>\n

If we were to examine most organizations\u2019 schools of thought around relationships, it might boil down to a Human Resource department or casual Fridays. Do most leaders invest quality and intentional time with the people they work for the end game of cultivating authentic relationships? Warner and Wilder argue that too often, organizations are run based on fear, preventing strong relationship bonds.<\/span>\u00a0[6]<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

Obviously, this form of relational investment requires a cultural change within many organizations, beginning at the top with leadership. Maybe the best place to begin to humanize individuals and empathize with them as they experience frustration, setback, and loss. Warner and Wilder raised the issue of enduring hardship well. Not only should the leader accept that these things are a part of life and work, but to strive to journey alongside others as they experience it. \u201cRARE leader can walk with team member [e.g., children, students, colleagues, teachers] in their suffering,\u201d they urged.<\/span>\u00a0[7]<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

Rare Leadership<\/span><\/em>\u00a0is a fascinating peek at organizational dynamics from cognitive, emotional intelligence, and theological perspectives. It certainly gives Christian readers a glimpse beyond the typical tropes of merging cherrypicked Scriptures and catchy phrases on leadership to see their God-given impulses and capacity for healthier relationships within their church or nonprofit. As the authors hoped, \u201cThe best coaches, teachers, managers, and leaders are the ones who instill a clear sense of identity into their group and help people understand, ‘This is who we are, and this is how it is like us to act.\u201d<\/span>[8]<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

[1]<\/span><\/a>\u00a0Tom Camacho,\u00a0<\/span>Mining for Gold: Developing Kingdom Leaders Through Coaching<\/span><\/em>\u00a0(Nottingham: Intervarsity Press, 2019), 12-13.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

[2]<\/span><\/a>\u00a0Warner, Marcus, and E. James Wilder,\u00a0<\/span>Rare Leadership: 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead<\/span><\/em>\u00a0(Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2016), 46.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

[3]<\/span><\/a>\u00a0Ibid., 25.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

[4] Ibid., 27.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

[5] Ibid., 13.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

[6]<\/span><\/a>\u00a0Ibid., 117.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

[7]<\/span><\/a>\u00a0Ibid., 16.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

[8]<\/span><\/a>\u00a0Ibid. 46.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A quick Amazon search for \u201cleadership books\u201d will yield over 50,000 results, so either the market is desperate for more leadership wisdom that many people struggle to lead or something else altogether. I am glad I chose to write a book for clergy and congregational leaders for my doctoral project\u2026 Don\u2019t fact-check me on this, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":139,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2598,2417,340,2594,2595],"class_list":["post-30891","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-rare","tag-rare-leadership","tag-relationships","tag-warner","tag-wilder","cohort-lgp11"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30891","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/139"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=30891"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30891\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30893,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30891\/revisions\/30893"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=30891"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=30891"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=30891"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}