{"id":3055,"date":"2014-10-31T00:54:58","date_gmt":"2014-10-31T00:54:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dminlgp\/?p=3055"},"modified":"2014-10-31T13:09:19","modified_gmt":"2014-10-31T13:09:19","slug":"having-the-nerve-to-leave","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/having-the-nerve-to-leave\/","title":{"rendered":"Having the nerve to lead"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>How many times have you heard the phrase \u201clets just all get along\u201d? This is a common saying or theme that many businesses and church leaders are propagating. It seems that the art of leadership is has given way to allowing everyone to have equal say and vote in the workplace. While it is important for employee\u2019s opinions to be heard and valued, it is equally important for leaders to \u201clead\u201d. Edwin Friedman\u2019s book, <em>A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, <\/em>is one of the most insightful books that I\u2019ve read on leadership based on my knowledge of the typical American organization\u2019s culture.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Servant Leadership is a current trend across many organizations, and while leaders should take on the attitude of a servant\u2019s heart it has often been misunderstood that leaders shouldn\u2019t take a strong position. We hear phrases like \u201cbeing a team player\u201d or \u201cgaining consensus\u201d. The cultural climate is one in which many people fear speaking up or making decisions. While servant leadership, being a team player, and listening to other\u2019s opinions are good, those things should not hinder a leader\u2019s ability to step up to the plate. Friedman discusses the fact that anxiety holds people back from leadership, as society is geared towards safety versus risk. I\u2019ve seen this happen many times as leaders fail to make take a stand or make decisions. They avoid ownership of the decision. The term \u201canalysis paralysis\u201d is commonly used in corporate American to refer to a leader who can\u2019t seem to make a decision without conclusive data that indicates they are making the correct choice.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Friedman argues that leaders must self-differentiate. This means that they stand solid in their beliefs and continuously work towards self-revelation. A leader that isn\u2019t self-differentiated will tend to go along with every trend, align to majority ideas, and could easily fall prey to drama or gossip. Note, although a person may be self-differentiated, they still have teamwork and understand their function within the network of relationships at the organization. Basically, the leader is present, and in this presence they have influence. Leaders cannot be consumed by anxiety, which is difficult in today\u2019s climate. With lacking job security and many pressures to perform at constant high levels, many in leadership roles go along with organizational norms even when they know it is wrong. They fear repercussion from being different. Friedman asserts that the key is for leaders to focus on their own behavior instead of the functioning of others. They need to disconnect from their emotional reactions, and instead have a calming influence on the greater system. They balance being differentiated while maintaining relationships.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve seen directly Friedman\u2019s concept of \u201cimaginative gridlock\u201d at play. When people get too involved in the emotions and drama that can happen within an organization, they loose the ability to think objectively, to appreciate new ideas, and to be innovative. This, in turn, does not create a climate that is conducive to change. Yet, all organizations must experience change to effectively move forward. I thought it interesting that Friedman pointed out that leaders must be prepared to face resistance. Too often, leaders back down to any resistance out of fear or anxiety. Resistance will happen as the self-differentiated leader disturbs the balance within the system. While peacemaking is a good leadership trait, it is negative when a leader favors harmony or keeping things calm over making progress and doing what is right. Friedman calls this behavior \u201cpeace-mongering\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve been in positions where I\u2019ve needed to face controversy or to \u201cmake a stand\u201d against the norm of an organization. While it can be unpopular and uncomfortable, it can even mean risk to your personal reputation or security. At the end of the day, I\u2019d prefer to know that I acted ethically and did what I know is best. But, it takes nerve\u2026hence the title of Friedman\u2019s book. In churches, I\u2019ve seen pastors get run over by boards or strong-willed church members. I once served with a pastor who would spend hours talking to me about tough decisions that he knew needed to be made concerning cutting toxic staff members. Yet, he let the church struggle for a couple of years before acting out on what needed to be done. He didn\u2019t want to hurt anyone\u2019s feelings or to upset any donors. I struggled with the fact that this person was a \u201cleader\u201d that talked a good game, but then let ministries suffer. In my experience, church leaders often have more trouble making tough decisions than people in secular organizations. I believe this is because they often lack management training, they fail to understand healthy conflict, and they try to keep peace across everybody. Sometimes it isn\u2019t possible to make everyone happy, keep the peace, and to do the right thing for the organization. Yet, at the end of the day it is the leaders job to do the right thing for the health of the organization. Why do you think so many church leaders lack \u201cnerve\u201d?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How many times have you heard the phrase \u201clets just all get along\u201d? This is a common saying or theme that many businesses and church leaders are propagating. It seems that the art of leadership is has given way to allowing everyone to have equal say and vote in the workplace. While it is important [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":31,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[236],"class_list":["post-3055","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-friedman","cohort-lgp4"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3055","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/31"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3055"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3055\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3074,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3055\/revisions\/3074"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3055"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3055"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3055"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}