{"id":29388,"date":"2022-11-04T23:11:12","date_gmt":"2022-11-05T06:11:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=29388"},"modified":"2022-11-04T23:11:12","modified_gmt":"2022-11-05T06:11:12","slug":"freedom-to-be-vulnerable","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/freedom-to-be-vulnerable\/","title":{"rendered":"Freedom to be Vulnerable"},"content":{"rendered":"

My husband and I love going to the theater. Every year, we get season tickets to see the current Broadway productions. A night out at the theater is one of our favorite date nights. I love it when the lights go down and we are transported to another world. The actors often make the production look effortless, but my daughter is a theater major, and I know much of what goes on behind the scenes. Simon Walker discusses the front stage and back stage in his book Leading Out of Who You Are<\/em>. He uses this analogy to discuss the life of a leader.<\/p>\n

Walker writes, \u201cWhat lies behind the creation of a front and a back stage is the sense that we can\u2019t entirely trust our audience, and so we need to manage what they see of us.\u201d[1]<\/a> The front stage is the face the leader presents to the crowd. It is the polished musical number, the elaborate sets, and intricate costumes. The front state consists of well-rehearsed lines, and perfectly timed steps. The leader who does not trust their audience will create an image that seems perfect, like she has it all together. I like to call this the Pinterest Perfect image. The bright lights of the stage and dark lights of the audience create an illusion that helps to hide the image.<\/p>\n

Have you ever seen an actor up close after a performance? Stage makeup is not the same as every day make up. It is intentionally bold and exaggerated to be seen under the bright lights and from afar. When seen up close, the actor\u2019s face looks distorted and odd. Behind the scenes, things are just as distorted. What looks like the front of a house on the front turns out to be just a painted piece of plywood, the crystal goblets of wine are plastic, and the backstage is a mess of props, costumes, and other random items. As Walker puts it, \u201cThe front stage is the place for conviction and confidence, the back stage the place for struggle and uncertainty.\u201d[2]<\/a>When the leader tries to live in this dichotomy, they are unable to sustain the image. This eventually results in a breakdown.<\/p>\n

Walker goes on in his book to describe the undefended leader. The undefended leader does not use defense mechanisms such as the front and back stage. She goes beyond these defense mechanisms and leads from a place of trust. \u201cFreedom comes when we start to allow people to see not only the glossy image but the mess as well.\u201d[3]<\/a> The more we can learn to be vulnerable and share our stories, the more we give others the freedom to be vulnerable. I love it when I get to meet the actors after a performance. Up close, you can see the distorted makeup. The magic of the performance fades away and you encounter a real person. By allowing the audience to see our mess, we are inviting them into our vulnerability. We create a space where it is acceptable to be messy because life is messy.<\/p>\n

The undefended leader can show vulnerability because they feel loved unconditionally by someone. Every time my daughter finishes a performance, she asks me how I thought it went. She asks me to critique her performance. One time I remember telling her that I would be glad to give her pointers when she was practicing, but I would that for a performance I would always tell her she was amazing and that I was proud of her. She said to me, \u201cI know mama, I just like to hear it.\u201d She knows that I love her unconditionally and that I am in the audience rooting for her. As Walker states, \u201cFreedom comes from knowing that you are approved of. Freedom to perform comes from the knowledge that there is someone rooting for you in the audience, whose opinion you value more than anyone else\u2019s and who is smiling and cheering just for you.\u201d[4]<\/a> Just as my daughter knows that I will always be her biggest supporter when she is onstage, I try to remember that as I lead, that I, too, have unconditional love and support. It is hard to remember because I was not raised with that kind of love and support, but I am learning to trust that God is proud of me and cheering me on. I can be vulnerable as a leader because He is always on my side.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

[1]<\/a> Simon P. Walker, Leading Out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership (The Undefended Leadership Trilogy Book 1)<\/em>. (City, Publisher, Year), pg. 47<\/p>\n

[2]<\/a> Ibid., pg. 40<\/p>\n

[3]<\/a> Ibid., pg. 48<\/p>\n

[4]<\/a> Ibid., pg. 130<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My husband and I love going to the theater. Every year, we get season tickets to see the current Broadway productions. A night out at the theater is one of our favorite date nights. I love it when the lights go down and we are transported to another world. The actors often make the production […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":155,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1718],"class_list":["post-29388","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-walker","cohort-dlgp01"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29388","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/155"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=29388"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29388\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29389,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29388\/revisions\/29389"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29388"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29388"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=29388"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}