{"id":29134,"date":"2022-10-17T07:04:57","date_gmt":"2022-10-17T14:04:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=29134"},"modified":"2022-10-17T08:08:24","modified_gmt":"2022-10-17T15:08:24","slug":"to-be-present-one-must-be-absent","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/to-be-present-one-must-be-absent\/","title":{"rendered":"To Be Present One Must Be Absent"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cFailure of Nerve\u201d a key leadership book that identifies leadership through a different lens. Friedman in his book notes that Leadership is not really about skill, technique, or knowledge that it is actually about decrement regarding the emotional and relational context. In order for a leader to understand these and to actively participate in discernment they must be present. Not simply present in their leadership role but present within their own understanding of themselves. Effective leaders radiate a presence that radiates calm in the midst of organizational chaos.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So, how does one gather this sense of presence?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They must first be absent!<\/span><\/p>\n

As I was reading through Friedman’s book I could not help but reflect on how stuck leaders can become when they are unable to self deferiatiate. They begin to take on the crisis of the community they are supposed to be leading. This happens frequently among ministry leaders. The correlation between helping profession- or servant leaders and the loss of self differentiation seems a worthy study to explore. Friedman gives us the readers a glimpse into how leaders fall into what he calls failure of nerve.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

My purpose for writing this post is to evaluate how a servant leader can maintain their nerve and essentially not lose themselves in the process of leading. As a present leader, one must become absent from the current context and find ways to lean into self differentiation.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Leaders, according to Friedman, are taught lots of skills and technique when the process of leading involves managing emotion. A leader needs to be aware of their own emotions and of those around them. Servant leaders often lead groups in a way that engages with the needs of those they are leading; it is by nature a more emotional role. Losing one’s nerve and becoming less present and more entrenched in the emotions of the organization is common.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So, if leadership is about presence, then how as leaders do we seek development that aligns with this? All of the workshops and development seminars can miss this component. There is a need for a new form of leadership development, one that focuses on the emotional maturity and personal identity of the leader. Leadership development that allows for leaders to take risks that then train their brains and bodies that it can be safe to take risks, to lead through presence, and not to lose their nerve when facing sabotage or organizational emotional crises.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As servant leaders there are often very few places that one can take safe risks. There is a need for risk taking development in an experiential environment. We are creatures of habit and as such when we are faced with situations we often address them in similar ways. So, if servant leaders are used to becoming emotionally entrenched and develop a loss of self and presence in their leadership, they can find themselves leading from this place of crisis in all areas of their life. This becomes a difficult cycle to break when the brain has learned there is no safety in risk taking. <\/span><\/p>\n

The cycle can be broken through safe risk taking experiences. For example, a leadership development opportunity that takes leaders on a ropes course, can create a safe place for leaders to take physical risks and prove to themselves they are capable of completing a certain challenge. This creates a sense of empowerment that then can be translated into their leadership environments. Looking at how we equip and empower leaders is key to healthy leadership. Leaders need opportunities outside of their leadership context to develop healthy risk taking skills and to differentiate themselves from the emotions of the organization.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Let’s find ways to be absent so that we can be present<\/span><\/p>\n



<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cFailure of Nerve\u201d a key leadership book that identifies leadership through a different lens. Friedman in his book notes that Leadership is not really about skill, technique, or knowledge that it is actually about decrement regarding the emotional and relational context. In order for a leader to understand these and to actively participate in discernment […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":160,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2396],"class_list":["post-29134","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-friedman-dlgp01","cohort-dlgp01"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29134","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/160"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=29134"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29134\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29138,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29134\/revisions\/29138"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29134"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29134"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=29134"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}