{"id":26931,"date":"2020-10-26T19:18:36","date_gmt":"2020-10-27T02:18:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dminlgp\/?p=26931"},"modified":"2020-10-26T19:18:36","modified_gmt":"2020-10-27T02:18:36","slug":"the-shadow","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/the-shadow\/","title":{"rendered":"The Shadow"},"content":{"rendered":"

I stand on the bank of the raging river outside of Knowing\u2019s Edge,<\/em> watching the stream rush by before me.\u00a0 The gurgling of the water flowing before is both enticing and terrifying.\u00a0 I\u2019m not entirely sure how long I\u2019ve been at the inn \u2013 it feels like a long time, and yet not long at all.\u00a0 In that time, I\u2019ve watched as each of my companions had a moment of breakthrough and untied one of the boats in the small inlet nearby.\u00a0 We simultaneously celebrated their respective revelations and mourned their leaving us, blessing them as they paddled their boats into the rushing waves of the unknown.<\/p>\n

\"Flowing<\/p>\n

New travelers arrive, coming and going.\u00a0 They share their stories, where it is they come from and how they arrived at Knowing\u2019s Edge.<\/em>\u00a0 Their stays are never the same, but they eventually leave.<\/p>\n

And yet I\u2019m still here, waiting for my breakthrough.<\/p>\n

I crouch down, sitting in the tall reeds along the bank.\u00a0 Pulling a cattail out by the roots, I begin to stir the small stretch of calm water before me, staring at my Reflection.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019ve all left you,\u201d<\/em> my reflection says to me.\u00a0 \u201cOn to bigger and better things. And yet here you are.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThey had their revelation,\u201d I reply, suppressing the surge of anxiety that tries to mount in my heart.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut why haven\u2019t you?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2026don\u2019t know.\u00a0 They said it comes in time and that it is best to live in the tension.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you don\u2019t believe that, do you?\u00a0 You\u2019re one of action.\u00a0 You don\u2019t belong at <\/em>Knowing\u2019s Edge.\u00a0 You belong back in your Tower.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Despite my best efforts, anxiety takes hold.\u00a0 The pull to the Tower \u2013 something I haven\u2019t felt in the presence of my former companions \u2013 returns.\u00a0 I cast a glance over my shoulder and the fog surrounding the inn clears just long enough for me to catch a glimpse of the Tower.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo back.\u00a0 Here, at <\/em>Knowing\u2019s Edge, you are an imposter.\u00a0 You\u2019re not like the Explorer or the Artist or anyone else who has passed through here.\u00a0 You\u2019re above them \u2013 an Expert!\u00a0 Go back to who you were \u2013 no, who you <\/em>are.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Reflection\u2019s face twists into a Shadow of itself.\"sand,<\/p>\n

The Tower beckons.<\/p>\n

The Shadow rises in me, calling me out for the Imposter that I am.\u00a0 It\u2019s right, though.\u00a0 Who did I think I was to even begin this journey?\u00a0 I\u2019m no Pilgrim.\u00a0 I\u2019m no Artist, no Explorer, no Entrepreneur, no Peacemaker, no Mystic, no Designer, no Pastor \u2013 hell, I\u2019m not even an \u201cExpert\u201d (as I\u2019ve been told at every step of this Journey).<\/p>\n

How am I anything but an Imposter?<\/p>\n

The Shadow grins wickedly, knowing that it\u2019s hooks have found its mark and have sunk in deep.<\/p>\n

\u201cFollow me.\u201d <\/em>I pause, listening.\u00a0 It\u2019s that soft voice, a voice that I haven\u2019t heard since the beginning.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo back.\u201d<\/em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Follow.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cGo back.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Follow Me into the Unknown.<\/em><\/p>\n

We always stand at a crossroads in our Journey.\u00a0 The Call to Return sits in the back of our mind, waiting for us at our most vulnerable and our defenses are down.\u00a0 It bellows, berates, and beckons us to return to where we once were, a place where at one point we had security.<\/p>\n

The second path is the Call to the Trust.\u00a0 It does not bellow, it does not berate, but it invites us to the next leg of our Journey.\u00a0It is a voice of peace; a quiet whisper that does not coerce, but in the simplicity of its command we cannot help feel drawn toward it.<\/p>\n

Neither can force us to continue or retreat.\u00a0 We can always stay on the Edge, waiting and waiting.<\/p>\n

But the Breakthrough will happen.<\/p>\n

Slowly, I make my way to the inlet and sit in the boat.\u00a0 The speed of the current seems to pick up immediately, pulling and straining at the mooring line.\u00a0 It takes effort \u2013 more than I would have thought \u2013 to untie the knots holding the boat in place.\u00a0 It takes all my strength to hold onto the rope, anxiety trying to overwhelm me.<\/p>\n

In the distance, the Tower glows, calling for me.<\/p>\n

And then I let go, the current sweeping me away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Images taken from:<\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.houzz.com\/products\/flowing-water-in-rushing-river-provincial-park-near-kenora-ontario-print-prvw-vr~123549488<\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.pxfuel.com\/en\/free-photo-irvrz<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I stand on the bank of the raging river outside of Knowing\u2019s Edge, watching the stream rush by before me.\u00a0 The gurgling of the water flowing before is both enticing and terrifying.\u00a0 I\u2019m not entirely sure how long I\u2019ve been at the inn \u2013 it feels like a long time, and yet not long at […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":129,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[571],"tags":[1911,1910,1897],"class_list":["post-26931","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-biography-drama-history","tag-imposter","tag-shadow","tag-trust","cohort-lgp10"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26931","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/129"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26931"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26931\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26935,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26931\/revisions\/26935"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26931"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26931"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26931"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}