{"id":26784,"date":"2020-09-28T18:41:34","date_gmt":"2020-09-29T01:41:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dminlgp\/?p=26784"},"modified":"2020-09-28T18:41:34","modified_gmt":"2020-09-29T01:41:34","slug":"the-ballad-of-fear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/the-ballad-of-fear\/","title":{"rendered":"The Ballad of Fear"},"content":{"rendered":"

I pause at the door, my hand hovering over the latch.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

The steps out of the Tower and out of the City are filled with Unknowns<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know where I\u2019m going \u2013<\/p>\n

I hardly know where I\u2019ve been at this point.<\/p>\n

I can still turn back.<\/p>\n

I can still I say, \u201cNo.\u2019<\/p>\n

That\u2019s what the world and culture has told me to do \u2013<\/p>\n

It\u2019s what I\u2019ve been trained to be:<\/p>\n

Fearful<\/p>\n

Complacent<\/p>\n

Risk-Averse<\/p>\n

Fragile.<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Community values, attitudes, and expectations hover over my head<\/p>\n

Yearning to leer and jeer in my face that I was wrong all along<\/p>\n

And that I\u2019m going to return with my tail between my legs.<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWe told you so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe told you it was dangerous.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe told you that you were nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

But I have to prove them wrong.<\/p>\n

The first steps from my Beginning to my Tower was a path wrought with peril.<\/p>\n

It was full of unknowns and I swore \u2013<\/p>\n

God, did I swear \u2013<\/p>\n

That I would never take that path again.<\/p>\n

I earned my peace,<\/p>\n

My prosperity,<\/p>\n

My title.<\/p>\n

Why would I ever leave again?<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

I fought to prove them wrong.<\/p>\n

I fought to make my mark.<\/p>\n

I fought to earn my knowledge, my power, my position.<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Surely I don\u2019t need to move.<\/em><\/p>\n

Surely I don\u2019t need to leave the comfort of my Tower.<\/em><\/p>\n

Surely I can learn to be content.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>They tell me the world is scary.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a place unseen that will only kill me.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a realm too big to understand.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a journey I was meant to forego.<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

And yet, here I am again<\/p>\n

On the edge of that precipice.<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Something stirs in my heart,<\/p>\n

The soul of my Being,<\/p>\n

As I stand on the edge of life and death.<\/p>\n

Anxiety floods my senses,<\/p>\n

sharpening them to as fine an edge as any double-edged sword.<\/p>\n

Is this the way I am to take?<\/em><\/p>\n

To once again walk the Pilgrim\u2019s Path?<\/em><\/p>\n

I know where it ends \u2013 <\/em><\/p>\n

It should end where I am \u2013<\/em><\/p>\n

But why does it not?<\/em><\/p>\n

Why does this road lead ever on?<\/em><\/p>\n

Do I not know all there is to know?<\/em><\/p>\n

Do I not know that I should stop here and be done with it all?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

But the voice continues to whisper.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome.<\/em><\/p>\n

Follow Me into the Unknown.<\/em><\/p>\n

I am with you until the very end.<\/em><\/p>\n

Trust me.<\/em><\/p>\n

Trust the journey I have you on.<\/em><\/p>\n

Your story isn\u2019t over.<\/em><\/p>\n

It is just beginning.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Do I trust it?<\/p>\n

Do I start again along the Pilgrim\u2019s Path?<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Fear is paralysis cloaked in survival.<\/p>\n

How does it work?<\/p>\n

Why<\/em> does it work?<\/p>\n

Fear should have no hold over me<\/p>\n

And yet it does.<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

I can\u2019t let go.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t take that step.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t move beyond my Self and what I know<\/p>\n

And give it all up again.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m turning back \u2013<\/p>\n

I have <\/em>to.<\/p>\n

They\u2019ll understand.<\/p>\n

They\u2019ll \u2013<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

NO!<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Hand in hand,<\/p>\n

Arm in arm,<\/p>\n

Heart in heart<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not alone.<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

The Pilgrim\u2019s path is not the journey of isolation.<\/p>\n

It was my isolation that built the Tower in the first place.<\/p>\n

\n

\n

The Pilgrim\u2019s Path is one of community \u2013<\/p>\n

The collective journey we all must take.<\/p>\n

It is in the Pilgrim\u2019s path that the I becomes We<\/p>\n

As heart and spirit are joined.<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Fear has no place here.<\/p>\n

Only Wonder and Curiosity.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I pause at the door, my hand hovering over the latch. \u00a0 The steps out of the Tower and out of the City are filled with Unknowns I don\u2019t know where I\u2019m going \u2013 I hardly know where I\u2019ve been at this point. I can still turn back. I can still I say, \u201cNo.\u2019 That\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":129,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[555],"tags":[1886,1890,878,1889],"class_list":["post-26784","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-drama","tag-fear","tag-furedi","tag-poetry","tag-unknown","cohort-lgp10"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26784","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/129"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26784"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26784\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26787,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26784\/revisions\/26787"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26784"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26784"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26784"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}