As a parent we learn early on that seeking perfection is overrated and the realization that imperfection can be a huge blessing. As a father of four I am so very thankful for each of my children. I am a nostalgic old codger at times and like many parents I have many keepsakes and memories oriented around each one of my children and events that took place in our lives. Things like the memory of taking my son hunting in 1998 as a part of his rite of passage and through a series of events my old rifle accidently misfired and accidently shot the windshield out of my brand-new pick up. (It\u2019s a long story and thankfully nobody was hurt just embarrassed). I remember driving back to the house and seeing the look on my sons face as I told his mom that it was the first time, I ever killed a truck and didn\u2019t know whether to tag it or not. Items like a small stack of yellow sticky notes I still have from several years ago when my middle daughter came to visit me on one of my many out of town projects. Before she left, she hid several yellow sticky notes throughout the apartment with crazy sayings and remarks. It took several days to finally round them all up as I came across them in my sock drawers, kitchen cupboards and laundry room. Or the memory of teaching my youngest daughter how to hit a heavy bag when she was in High School so we could work out together only to have her do a kick boxing move breaking the mount on the bag sending it crashing against that wall. I later realized that when the bag hit the wall it knocked one of my carved ivory warthog tusks off the shelf in my office and broke it. The pieces still sit on my bookcase next to the other carvings after all these years as a reminder of simpler times. One of my favorite imperfect items is a Beatles memorabilia coffee cup my oldest daughter bought me when she made a northwest girls all-star basketball team and spent the summer traveling around the UK in 2001 playing basketball after she graduated from High School. She knew I was a Beatles fan, so she went out of her way to visit the Beatles museum and bought me the cup. Sadly, when she arrived home the cup had broken into multiple pieces. I glued it back together and with all its cracks and flaws it sits in my office as a reminder of a daughters love and the value of imperfection.<\/p>\n
In japan there is a traditional view centered around the acceptance of the imperfections of life called Wabi – Sabi. \u201cWabi-sabi is the beauty of things imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete, the antithesis of our classical Western notion of beauty as something perfect, enduring, and monumental.\u201d[1]<\/a> It comes from the Buddhist belief that things are not permanent, the way to enlightenment is through suffering a mundane life, as well as, through emptying oneself.[2]<\/a> Jonathan Haidt in his book The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion<\/em> in some ways reaches a place of Wabi – Sabi. His goal is \u201cto drain some of the heat, anger, and divisiveness\u201d out of talking about politics and religion replacing \u201cthem with awe, wonder and curiosity.\u201d His book is oriented around 3 basic principles. First, \u201cIntuitions come first, strategic reasoning second.\u201d Second, \u201cthere\u2019s more to morality than harm and fairness.\u201d Third, \u201cMorality binds and blinds.\u201d[3]<\/a> In many ways his book is not only the summation of his study, but it is the story of his personal life change from a place of we versus them to a place of seeking commonality with others.<\/p>\n What may have started out as a study to possibly assist liberal democrats to win more elections eventually became a study of personal discovery. He describes his journey that took him beyond WEIRD morality (Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, and Democratic)[4]<\/a> to a place of pluralism. His study of Richard Shweder\u2019s ethic of community and a stay in India brought him to the place where \u201cit felt good to be released from partisan anger. And once I was no longer angry, I was no longer committed to reaching the conclusion that righteous anger demands: we are right, they are wrong. I was able to explore new moral matrices, each one supported by its own intellectual traditions. It felt like a kind of awakening.\u201d[5]<\/a> Whether one agrees with Haidt\u2019s moral psychology or truly embraces the complexity of human morality he conveys. The book does offer a sense of hope and emphasizes a sense of responsibility toward the willingness to take the time to understand those whose views differ from our own.\u00a0 Jesus in Matthew 7 states:\u00a0\u201cDo not judge so that you will not be judged. 2\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. 3\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother\u2019s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>Or how can you say to your brother, \u2018Let me take the speck out of your eye,\u2019 and behold, the log is in your own eye? 5\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>You hypocrite first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother\u2019s eye.\u201d<\/p>\n May be there should be less emphasis on fixing others and more energy on fixing ourselves with a greater effort on understanding others!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n [1]<\/a> http:\/\/savyytokyo.com\/wabi-sabi-the-the-japanese-philosophy-of-embracing-imperfectiomism\/<\/p>\n [2]<\/a> https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org.wiki\/Wabi-sabi<\/p>\n [3]<\/a> Jonathan Haidt, The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided By Politics and Religion, (New York: Vintage Books, 2012), xx – xxii<\/p>\n