I took our weekly Zoom call this week while I was on the road, somewhere in rural Virginia.\u00a0 \u201cZooming in\u201d from my phone does not allow me to see everyone\u2019s face at the same time, nor does it allow me to reply to the chat messages I receive (public, private or otherwise!) as quickly as I usually can while seated at my desktop.\u00a0 Not seeing everyone\u2019s face really annoyed me when we were responding to Jason\u2019s question about most memorable moments from our recent English Advance.\u00a0 Many stories of warmth and community were shared, and if my memory serves correct, one of our cohort even made reference to how over the past year we have all gone from the status of \u201cpeople in a class together\u201d to \u201cgood friends that honestly care for one another.\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0I would have loved to have seen our facial expressions when that heartfelt and true sentiment was shared.<\/p>\n
One of the main reasons we have grown so well together is because of the vulnerability we have demonstrated and shared with each other.\u00a0 Over the past year we have not only grown together, but also \u201cgrown up\u201d as leaders.\u00a0 This is due in large part to the vulnerability we have learned is so powerful, and the awareness to frame that vulnerability for further growth. As Brene Brown writes, \u201cto grow up is to accept vulnerability\u201d[1]<\/a> and when Jason started the call by reminding us that we are now seniors, the fact hits this blogger home at an even deeper level.<\/p>\n But the vulnerability we have shared in our Zoom chats hasn\u2019t come without a price.\u00a0 Members of our humble band have experienced transition of many kinds over these past 16 months. From staff turnover and budgetary restrictions throughout our institutions, to the theatre of denominational elections, to cross country moves and changes in call, to the satisfaction and struggle of being in a program that forms, challenges, and then reforms us again.\u00a0 We are better leaders because of the individual journeys we have shared, and the collective journey we have taken together.<\/p>\n Which leads me to Friedman, a former Washington DC based Rabbi, who posits that the \u201creal problem of leadership is a failure of nerve. Leaders fail not because they lack information, skill, or technique, but because they lack the nerve and presence to stand firm in the midst of other people\u2019s emotional anxiety and reactivity.\u201d[2]<\/a>\u00a0 The search for the next great book, seminar or paradigm is all for naught according to Friedman, the real emphasis on leadership development should be placed on \u201cshifting our orientation to the way we think about relationships, from one that focuses on techniques that motivate others to one that focuses on the leader\u2019s own presence and being.\u201d[3]<\/a><\/p>\n I write this blog post as I am currently eleven days in to serving a new church, in a new location, uniquely close the one that Friedman used to call home.\u00a0 I do not have a job description . . . but have been asked to help the community discern a vision, provide a framework for the community to live into that vision, and then move the community towards living into the vision that we discern and create together as faithfully as we possibly can.\u00a0 Throughout the process, I will need to focus on my own presence and being. There will be moments that are uncomfortable, moments when momentum slows or when the pressure to produce the \u201cquick fix\u201d is strong and vocal.[4]<\/a>\u00a0 And yet, my greatest challenge will not be to create a finished product, but will be to discern and navigate the emotional and relational climate of my new organization, and to do so with courage.<\/p>\n Eleven years and three churches ago, I had a colleague who shared that during the first year of his call he wanted to be sure that he was \u201csharp about his prayers.\u201d\u00a0 It was the way that he would stay grounded, connected with the divine, and fortified for the inevitable church drama that would come his way.\u00a0 My hope is that during this first year at my new call, my prayers are sharp, and my nerve is strong.\u00a0 With the support of this cohort, knowing the faces I will see every Monday, my confidence is high.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n [1]<\/a> Brene Brown, Dare to Lead<\/em>, (New York: Random House, 2018), 25.<\/p>\n [2]<\/a> Bob Thune, \u201cSummary: Edwin Friedman\u2019s \u201cA Failure of Nerve\u201d in 500 Words,\u201d June 6, 2016, http:\/\/www.bobthune.com\/2016\/06\/summary-edwin-friedmans-a-failure-of-nerve-in-500-words\/<\/a>.<\/p>\n [3]<\/a> Edwin H. Friedman, A Failure of Nerve<\/em>, (New York: Seabury Books, 2007), 4.<\/p>\n