{"id":22715,"date":"2019-04-12T13:26:03","date_gmt":"2019-04-12T20:26:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dminlgp\/?p=22715"},"modified":"2019-04-12T13:26:03","modified_gmt":"2019-04-12T20:26:03","slug":"dare","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/dare\/","title":{"rendered":"Dare"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I picked up the book <em>Dare to Lead<\/em> by Bene Brown last year when our Lead Mentor, Dr. Jason, recommended it on his personal Facebook page. I believe his comment was that this book was as good as <em>A<\/em> <em>Failure of Nerve<\/em> which was another book I was highly impacted by. After seeing his recommendation, I bought and read it during our small break after last summer semester. Since then I have gone back to it a few times through the new app I use <em>Blinkist<\/em> which gives you summaries of popular books. This book, and in fact all of the authors reading, is a unique a refreshing style that many people today are obviously resonating with. Bene Brown\u2019s books are top sellers and her Ted Talks rank among the highest. Many people today recognize and are flocking to the vulnerable style of writing and example that Bene Brown promotes in her book.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m writing about this blog, from a book I read 6 months ago, and listened to the summary of 2 more times, and reviewed a few summaries and blogs before writing this post. And by happenstance this last week I was working through Craig Groeschel\u2019s leadership podcast which this week\u2019s topic was about a leader\u2019s vulnerability. His lesson which was titled, <em>How to be real and not weird,<\/em> he addressed a question that I have worked through with many of my students, and that is, how vulnerable should a leader be.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Between Bene Brown\u2019s example of the upside of vulnerability, and Craig Groeschel\u2019s wisdom from experience in pastoral experience, we have some great insight for what vulnerability and leadership should look like for Christians in pastoral leadership. One of Craig\u2019s main points was, \u201c\u201cTelling the truth means what you say is true. It doesn\u2019t mean everything true needs to be said.\u201d<a href=\"#_ftn1\" name=\"_ftnref1\">[1]<\/a> At first this sounded like how kids try and hide what they actually did but saying things around the truth and are in fact intentionally misleading. I think the difference between that childish cowardice, and this is the heart behind it and wisdom involved in knowing what is maleficent to leave out and what is loving to leave out. If somethings were said it would only breed anxiety with no actionable information.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Craig also clarifies times when sharing in complete vulnerability is not wise,<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201cAt the wrong time. Choosing when to be transparent is wise, not deceitful.<\/li>\n<li>To the wrong people. Not everyone needs to know everything.<\/li>\n<li>In the wrong way. If your emotions are high, your judgment is generally low. If you are wound up, wait before you call, meet, tweet, or hit \u201cSend.\u201d<a href=\"#_ftn2\" name=\"_ftnref2\">[2]<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>And lastly Groeschel covers three times when vulnerability is import as leaders,<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Transparency is appropriate when we want to show people what we know<\/li>\n<li>Transparency is appropriate when we want to show people what we see<\/li>\n<li>Transparency is appropriate when we want to show people what we know<a href=\"#_ftn3\" name=\"_ftnref3\">[3]<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I agree with Groeschel on these points.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Brene Brown brings up a lot more depth than Groeschel, and of course back it up with a lot of research and emotional intelligence. Her workbook, which is available as a free download on her website was especially helpful, and I think I will continue to go through it slowly, after my devotions, like I did with the <em>Deep Change<\/em> workbook<em>.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>In the end, with all of this content to sift through, here is the answer I tell my students in regards to vulnerability. Here is a good guiding principle. Model vulnerability and trust, but never go to the people your leading, with your emotional needs. So therefore, ask yourself the question, \u201c<em>why am I wanting to share this to my team?\u201d<\/em> Is it because you have an emotional weight that you need to get off so you can feel better? Then you are just displacing your own discomfort and perhaps guilt and it down onto them. If instead, you are self-differentiated, and are removed from the anxiety of it all, you can share with confidence your own failures, short-comings, and dweeby-moments with those you are leading. While its still completly possible to teach with moral authority and show the example of how you are an exemplar in a topic, the appropriate sharing of vulnerability can be very endearing. It shows a leader who has nothing to prove and is comfortable with their own limitations.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>A second question I ask, is this the right timing to share?\u00a0 Often times its easier for a leader to share about past-tense vulnerability, but a leader who is still going through something, may set themselves up for an unmanageable amount of scrutiny by sharing something premature. Whether this is god-sized dream or an off the wall new idea, not everyone is ready to hear it. Consider Joseph who got into a bad situation because he shared his dream with the wrong people. While most people are busy competing for the ordinary ideas and results, an extraordinary idea is intimidating for them and uncomfortable.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Works Cited<\/p>\n<p>Brown Brene\u0301. <em>Dare to Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts<\/em>. New York: Random House, 2018.<\/p>\n<p>Groeschel, Craig. \u201cCraig Groeschel Leadership Podcast.\u201d No SVG support, April 2019. https:\/\/www.craiggroeschel.com\/leadershippodcast.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ftnref1\" name=\"_ftn1\">[1]<\/a> Craig Groeschel, \u201cCraig Groeschel Leadership Podcast,\u201d No SVG support, April 2019, https:\/\/www.craiggroeschel.com\/leadershippodcast.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ftnref2\" name=\"_ftn2\">[2]<\/a> Craig Groeschel, \u201cCraig Groeschel Leadership Podcast,\u201d No SVG support, April 2019, https:\/\/www.craiggroeschel.com\/leadershippodcast.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ftnref3\" name=\"_ftn3\">[3]<\/a> Craig Groeschel, \u201cCraig Groeschel Leadership Podcast,\u201d No SVG support, April 2019, https:\/\/www.craiggroeschel.com\/leadershippodcast.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I picked up the book Dare to Lead by Bene Brown last year when our Lead Mentor, Dr. Jason, recommended it on his personal Facebook page. I believe his comment was that this book was as good as A Failure of Nerve which was another book I was highly impacted by. After seeing his recommendation, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":94,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[241,1516,1017],"class_list":["post-22715","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-brene-brown","tag-dare-to-lead","tag-lgp8","cohort-lgp8"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22715","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/94"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22715"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22715\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22716,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22715\/revisions\/22716"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22715"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22715"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22715"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}