{"id":22051,"date":"2019-03-07T11:33:30","date_gmt":"2019-03-07T19:33:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dminlgp\/?p=22051"},"modified":"2019-03-07T11:33:30","modified_gmt":"2019-03-07T19:33:30","slug":"treading-lightly-or-not","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/treading-lightly-or-not\/","title":{"rendered":"Treading lightly…or Not"},"content":{"rendered":"

As a strong, independent, outspoken, woman I\u2019ve tried to approach Jonathan Grant\u2019s text, Divine Sex: A Compelling Vision for Christian Relationships in a Hypersexualized Age<\/em>, with an open mind.\u00a0 We can all acknowledge that many (dare I say most?) religious traditions have \u201csubjugated\u201d women. Religious restrictions and prohibitions on women have ranged from the openly oppressive and inhumane, to subtle limitations.\u00a0Women have been blocked from leadership roles, banned from religious learning – and even secular education – forbidden to hold power, denied fair inheritance and land ownership, denigrated, physically dominated, and sometimes even forbidden to speak.[1]<\/a>\u00a0 For all of these reasons \u2013 and because I was unsure of the sexuality spin he would take towards women – I approached Grant\u2019s book cautiously.<\/p>\n

Turns out, Grant\u2019s text is one of those books that I wish I had more time to fully read cover to cover.\u00a0 Instead I\u2019m having to critique this text solely by reading \u201caround it\u201d including multiple reviews and lay person feedback.\u00a0 What is evident in every review is that Grant fully acknowledges the role of culture and sexuality and embraces the disciplines of sociology and psychology\u2019s understandings of desire, sexuality, and relationship.\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cThe question isn\u2019t\u00a0whether\u00a0our view of sex, sexuality, marriage, and relationships have been shaped by our culture, but\u00a0how much.\u201d [2]<\/a><\/p>\n

Thank you to Jonathan Grant for this important and glaring acknowledgement \u201cThe yawning gap between how much time humans spend being affected by sex and sexuality, and how much time the church spends addressing it, is astounding.\u201d[3]<\/a>\u00a0 Do I dare say that I believe the modern Christian church ignores sex and sexuality conversations because the struggle is real?\u00a0 The Christian church is knee deep in persecution of specific \u201csins\u201d, such as homosexuality and gender identity issues, but rarely broaches the even more damaging issues of lust, pornography, and adultery. \u00a0Have you read the statistics?\u00a0 Are you aware that the rate of pornography use among married, Christian men is FAR HIGHER than secular men? \u00a0How hypocritical and how convenient that Christian churches, primarily dominated by male leadership, conveniently and intentionally avoid and ignore these topics.\u00a0 And why?\u00a0 Because their male constituents are made to feel more uncomfortable by discussing sexuality issues than discussing money and tithing.\u00a0 And that is saying something!\u00a0 Don\u2019t get me wrong, women use pornography.\u00a0 Children (both male and female) use pornography.\u00a0 But as a general rule, adult men are the largest consumer.\u00a0 As a therapist, who happens to be a woman, and has spent 26 years in social work practice, I can tell you that anecdotally the breakdown of the family is not about women working, or women having rights, or feminism, or gay marriage, or single parents.\u00a0 The breakdown of the family is the lack of emotional connection in relationships often fueled by pornography.<\/p>\n

Consider this excerpt written by Archibald D. Hart in 2002 for his article The Christian man’s battle with his sexuality.\u00a0 <\/em>Keep in mind that in 2002 online pornography was fairly new. \u00a0Fast forward seventeen years with easier and more access, social media accounts, and snapchat\u2026<\/p>\n

Pornography and cybersex<\/em>. There is no greater threat to a healthy, let alone sanctified, male sexuality than pornography. It is devastating our Christian sons and creating an epidemic of addiction to sexually stimulating images. Through pornography and the related means of communication that it exploits, many men have developed or exacerbated what can only be described as “an obsessive\/compulsive sexuality.” That is, men are engrossed in the physical aspects of human sexuality and they have come to obsessively act these out compulsively.<\/em><\/p>\n

The average male growing up in today’s world is so bombarded by sexual stimulation (mainly through the sex-crazed media who have discovered that everything sexual sells better than anything else), that few men escape its influence.<\/em><\/p>\n

Pornography also feeds unrealistic expectations for gratification, changes how men view women in that they are only seen as sexual objects, and fosters a nonrelational sexuality. This means that many men who have used pornography for a long time do not know how to relate to real women, and have great difficulty breaking the way they do it.<\/em><\/p>\n

Pornography is only the tip of the iceberg. Cybersex is rapidly becoming the primary source of pornography. There are now literally thousands of Web sites that offer extremely explicit pornography that can be indulged in total privacy without anyone else knowing about it.<\/em><\/p>\n

This has already become a significant temptation for Christian men\u2014including pastors. Besides this, just around the corner there is an even more frightening prospect that will turret the current level of pornography into “virtual sex,” where computers connected to high speed Internet sites will be able to offer sex-hungry men a variety of sexual experiences in real time with “virtual” partners. This promises to be so addicting that it is bound to put substance abuse down on the list of social concerns.[4]<\/strong><\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

This writing may feel very \u201cin your face\u201d, but it\u2019s not intended to humiliate, harm, or degrade humanity, specifically men.\u00a0 Instead, I\u2019m taking the Bren\u00e9 Brown approach to difficult and vulnerable conversation.\u00a0 Church, moral panic and judgement doesn\u2019t work (history has told us that again and again and yet we still think it will work\u2026?). \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cHowever, culture-warring \u2018moral panic\u2019 has done almost nothing to curb the use of porn or change people\u2019s perceptions of it\u2026\u201d [5]<\/a> There is shame and guilt connected to pornography use and there\u2019s also addiction.\u00a0 Sexuality is a complex and intimate need, desire, and part of our personhood.\u00a0 Churches need to adopt a social posture of transparency, accountability and vulnerability sprinkled with joy, grace, and hope.\u00a0 It\u2019s a perfect opportunity to lean in to the gospel and the restorative power of Christ, rather than leaning out in avoidance or denial.<\/p>\n

Grant\u2019s last half of his text focuses on flourishing in sexuality.\u00a0 The caveat is that it\u2019s not just about sex and sexuality.\u00a0 It\u2019s about relationship, emotional intimacy, and community in today\u2019s culture.\u00a0 And don\u2019t be fooled, not everything in cultural is intrinsically opposed to Christian values.\u00a0For instance, the people who constitute \u201csecular\u201d culture often care more for the poor and oppose racism with more vigor than Christians do.[6]<\/a> Grant affirms C. S. Lewis in noting “that it is not the taming of desire that will set us free but rather the unleashing and enlarging of true desire”. \u201cAnd, of course, that “true desire” is found only in the One who truly satisfies every longing of the human soul. Discipleship and formation toward that end is the ultimate vision for human flourishing.\u201d[7]<\/a><\/p>\n

[1]<\/a> http:\/\/www.humanreligions.info\/women_as_objects.html<\/p>\n

[2]<\/a> \u00a0https:\/\/www.prestonsprinkle.com\/blog\/2016\/12\/2\/divine-sex-a-review-part-1<\/p>\n

[3]<\/a> \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Jonathan Grant. Divine Sex: A Compelling Vision for Christian Relationships in a Hypersexualized Age. Grand Rapids, MI: Brazos Press, 2015. 249.<\/p>\n

[4]<\/a> https:\/\/www.ministrymagazine.org\/archive\/2002\/07\/the-christian-mans-battle-with-his-sexuality.html<\/p>\n

[5]<\/a> https:\/\/www.barna.com\/research\/porn-in-the-digital-age-new-research-reveals-10-trends\/<\/p>\n

[6]<\/a> \u00a0<\/sup>Grant. Divine Sex: A Compelling Vision<\/em>. 249.<\/p>\n

[7]<\/a> Grant. Divine Sex: A Compelling Vision<\/em>. 249.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As a strong, independent, outspoken, woman I\u2019ve tried to approach Jonathan Grant\u2019s text, Divine Sex: A Compelling Vision for Christian Relationships in a Hypersexualized Age, with an open mind.\u00a0 We can all acknowledge that many (dare I say most?) religious traditions have \u201csubjugated\u201d women. Religious restrictions and prohibitions on women have ranged from the openly […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":99,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1477],"class_list":["post-22051","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-grant","cohort-lgp8"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22051","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/99"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22051"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22051\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22052,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22051\/revisions\/22052"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22051"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22051"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22051"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}