As I hinted at in our chat the other day I come from a pretty dysfunctional family. My father was (and still is) incredibly narcissistic and exhibited many of the irrational characteristics described by De Vries both in the book and the interview that I came across. (Characteristics, I might add that De Vries suggests are necessary in leaders. He states; \u201cLeaders need a healthy dose of narcissism in order to survive. It\u2019s the engine that drives leadership. Assertiveness, self-confidence, tenacity, and creativity just can\u2019t exist without it.\u201d<\/em>)[2]<\/a> Yet, he was an incredible leader, a Christian pastor who developed a strong following, and demonstrated qualities such as charisma, intelligence, strong communication, vision, decisiveness, etc.<\/p>\n In the Harvard Business Review with De Vries he says the following all of which resonates with my experience of my father: \u201cI found [leaders] often had experienced deprivation of some kind early in life.\u201d\u00a0<\/em>Check\u00a0<\/strong>\u201cThey work to be independent. It is their way of having more control over a world they often perceive (given their early experiences) as uncontrollable.\u201d <\/em>Check\u00a0<\/strong>\u201cThe trouble is that once they\u2019ve proved they\u2019re successful, they can\u2019t get off the treadmill. All they know how to do is work.\u201d <\/em>Check\u00a0<\/strong>\u201cIn the meantime, their personal relationships have become a mess.\u201d <\/em>Check\u00a0<\/strong>\u201cSo they feel stuck and bored. Unfortunately, in business [or in church leadership] you are not allowed to show pain. So, to liven himself up a bit, the [leader] might find a new wife or he might try to pull off some really big, aggressive deal. Now that provides some excitement. Mergers and marriages both help to mask a [leader\u2019s] psychic pain.\u201d<\/em>[3]<\/a>\u00a0Check<\/strong><\/p>\n So, is there application of this work to the church context. Without a doubt. While most of my blogs deal directly with issues of emerging generations it is pertinent here to consider the pastoral leadership of churches. What roles do we encourage them to play to be \u2018successful\u2019 that may be contributing to irrationality and dysfunction? In the drive to serve a church full of broken individuals whose particular crises are \u2018urgent\u2019 it is frequently difficult for pastors to take time for their own internal development. \u201cMany executives [read pastors] don\u2019t pay much attention to their inner world\u2026It\u2019s rarely a conscious avoidance, but it\u2019s an avoidance nonetheless.\u201d<\/em>[4]<\/a> In addition, there is often an unconscious assumption that displays of vulnerability or weakness will raise doubts in the minds of the congregation about the suitability of the pastor\u2019s leadership.<\/p>\n As attempts are made to make the church more attractive, retain membership, and utilize business models for organizational purposes pastors frequently find themselves in the role of a CEO, often a position at odds with their initial calling. I saw this in my own pastor father and reflect much of it myself. \u00a0If De Vries has anything to offer the church than I believe it is in his recognition that the clinical paradigm has much to contribute to organizational structure and understanding of leadership within that structure. This is as important for the church as it might be for the corporate world. If we are to be a healthy organization and encourage the health of our leaders\/pastors, application of the insights provided by De Vries would seem beneficial.<\/p>\n Here is the quote that will remain with me.\u00a0“When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.”<\/em>[5]<\/a> That is what I am doing with this blog.<\/p>\n Mike drop \u2013 Sorry if you endured. This sucked!! <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n [1]<\/a>Coutu, Diane. “Putting Leaders on the Couch.” Harvard Business Review. August 01, 2014. Accessed November 16, 2018. https:\/\/hbr.org\/2004\/01\/putting-leaders-on-the-couch.<\/p>\n [2]<\/a>Coutu, Diane. “Putting Leaders on the Couch.” Harvard Business Review. August 01, 2014. Accessed November 16, 2018. https:\/\/hbr.org\/2004\/01\/putting-leaders-on-the-couch.<\/p>\n [3]<\/a>Coutu, Diane. “Putting Leaders on the Couch.” Harvard Business Review. August 01, 2014. Accessed November 16, 2018. https:\/\/hbr.org\/2004\/01\/putting-leaders-on-the-couch.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dminlgp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/Unknown-3.jpeg\")
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