{"id":19094,"date":"2018-09-21T00:33:04","date_gmt":"2018-09-21T07:33:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dminlgp\/?p=19094"},"modified":"2018-09-21T00:33:04","modified_gmt":"2018-09-21T07:33:04","slug":"word-smart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/word-smart\/","title":{"rendered":"word smart"},"content":{"rendered":"

Judith E. Glaser presented some information in her book Conversational Intelligence<\/i> that has the potential to change the way leaders think about each of their interactions. Glaser\u2019s defines Conversational Intelligence is the ability to connect, navigate and grow with others. It gives us the ability to influence the interactions we find ourselves in the every day moments of our lives. <\/span><\/p>\n

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What Glaser does that separates her from other who talk about \u201clanguage is important\u201d is how she incorporates other fields of research into her study. DNA is Plastic. Transcription DNA is hardwired, but some DNA can be activated and deactivated. Even conversations can cause the brain to activate certain areas of our brain and can even begin to activate some parts of our DNA. Glaser even is technical enough to tell us that Langauge is a \u201cFOX p2 Regulatory gene.\u201d Whatever that means!<\/span><\/p>\n

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This book follows suit with a lot of the reading this semester and a larger trend of emotional and relational intelligence that the business world is becoming more and more congruent. It is very similar to what Edwin Freidman writes about in his book A Failure of Nerve,<\/i> which is a book we will be reading later this semester. I\u2019m also reminded of what the famed Stephen Covey writes about says, \u201c<\/span>A person has integrity when there is no gap between intent and behavior\u2026when he or she is whole, seamless, the same\u2014inside and out. I call this \u201ccongruence.\u201d And it is congruence\u2014not compliance\u2014that will ultimately create credibility and trust.\u201d[1]<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a> There is a common thread here!<\/span><\/p>\n

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In fact I think I would go as far to say that, this book Conversational Intelligence could almost be a sequel of Steven Covey\u2019s book The Speed of Trust<\/i>. Covey definitively says about trust, <\/span><\/p>\n

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\u201cThere is one thing that is common to every individual, relationship, team, family, organization, nation, economy, and civilization throughout the world\u2014one thing which, if removed, will destroy the most powerful government, the most successful business, the most thriving economy, the most influential leadership, the greatest friendship, the strongest character, the deepest love. On the other hand, if developed and leveraged, that one thing has the potential to create unparalleled success and prosperity in every dimension of life. Yet, it is the least understood, most neglected, and most underestimated possibility of our time. That one thing is trust.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Covey proves the importance of trust, and Glaser thoroughly explains the technique of conversations which can reinforce trust building.<\/span><\/p>\n

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My big takeaway from this book was the explanation and the breakdown with diagrams of the concept of trust. Glaser explained how growing trust can actually shape and change our perceived reality. When we have built trust with a human that we are connecting, navigating or growing with it affects how they interpret all of our behaviors. The same information could be shared but when it comes from a untrustworthy individual or someone who has not built rapport, or has not shown empathy in listening, then the content of language will be met with resistance and skepticism. If trust is present though, even negative statements can be met with a, \u201cwow pastor, thank you so much for telling me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

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A leader can only lead at the speed of trust. How much trust does your character convey into people. Steven Covey says, \u201c<\/span>\u201cThe first job of a leader\u2014at work or at home\u2014is to inspire trust. It\u2019s to bring out the best in people by entrusting them with meaningful stewardships, and to create an environment in which high-trust interaction inspires creativity and possibility.\u201d[2]<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

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In my ministry work this summer, I worked with a few dozen students who were transitioning from the closure of the Sacramento satellite campus of Northwest University. I was to assist them into transferring into a new program, however I often found that many who are choosing to move slowly or be non-committal in conversation they have had a \u201cwait a see\u201d sort of attitude. In reality I see them already distrustful because of a previous situation that happened with the school and this has made them skeptical of my voice coming from the higher education seat. Of Glaser\u2019s five point on the spectrum of Change versus reality I can point to some students who have reacted within each of the five elements. Resistor, Skeptic, Wait & see, experimenter, co-creator. Very few have had the co-creator attitude, and most have had the experimenter mind set. To those who fall toward the left and orangish side of the spectrum, I wonder how I could have handled these conversations differently. <\/span><\/p>\n

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Personally I think I often stumble because I move too fast. I see the route to solve the problem and I describe how we should get there. This topic might be easy to shrug off for some ministers, thinking they are good with people since they are in ministry. But when considering a recent report from Barna, dealing with people problems is the highest rate problem that ministers wish they were better prepared. I think I will always wish I was better prepared for this, because I will always have problems with people. In light of this, we should consider that we may not be as good at interpersonal relationships as we initially thought. Because of this, I think many pastors would benefit from studying and being intentional on practicing conversational intelligence. Even just understanding that every interaction will either build trust with the person or cause resistance and suspicion is a great step forward in conversational intelligence.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Furthermore, beyond just dealing with personal problems that church members have and staff will have with each other. This has incredible leadership implications. Of course, every time we lead we are using language. But using Glaser\u2019s conversational intelligence concept, we can see that people need the opportunity to engage and the opportunity to chose to resist or trust, if they are to fully buy into a conversation. Glaser says, \u201c<\/span>\u201cReframe: To put Conversational Intelligence to work, stop thinking of your job as managing resistance and instead accept resistance as a natural part of change. People need to challenge new ideas before they can accept them. For full ownership and accountability to take place, people need to be in the conversation about how to change rather than being asked to merely comply. When leaders reframe in this way, they see that conversations release new energy for change\u2014which will propel their efforts forward faster.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

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[1]<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a> Covey, Stephen M. R., and Rebecca R Merrill.\u00a0<\/span>The Speed of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything<\/span><\/i>. New York, N.Y.: Free Press, 2006.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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[2]<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a> Covey, Stephen M. R., and Rebecca R Merrill.\u00a0<\/span>The Speed of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything<\/span><\/i>. New York, N.Y.: Free Press, 2006.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Judith E. Glaser presented some information in her book Conversational Intelligence that has the potential to change the way leaders think about each of their interactions. Glaser\u2019s defines Conversational Intelligence is the ability to connect, navigate and grow with others. It gives us the ability to influence the interactions we find ourselves in the every […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":94,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1351,1354,1017],"class_list":["post-19094","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-conversational-intelligence","tag-glasser","tag-lgp8","cohort-lgp8"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19094","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/94"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19094"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19094\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19095,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19094\/revisions\/19095"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19094"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19094"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19094"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}