{"id":18965,"date":"2018-09-19T15:38:22","date_gmt":"2018-09-19T22:38:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dminlgp\/?p=18965"},"modified":"2018-09-19T15:38:22","modified_gmt":"2018-09-19T22:38:22","slug":"thinking-critically-but-not-throwing-out-the-baby-with-the-bath-water","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/thinking-critically-but-not-throwing-out-the-baby-with-the-bath-water\/","title":{"rendered":"Thinking Critically BUT Not Throwing Out the Baby With the Bath Water"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Judith Glaser’s\u00a0Conversational Intelligence: How Great Leaders Build Trust and Get Extraordinary Results<\/em> reminded me of another famous leadership book by Dale Carnegie titled,\u00a0How To Win Friends and Influence Others.\u00a0<\/em>Both are powerfully written, have obvious appeal in the marketplace, and are easily applicable to improving one’s own leadership. If I would have read this book 14 months ago, I would have been all aglow, counting this book as one of the greatest additions to my library since cinnamon\/sugar was added to toast.<\/p>\n

We have been trained better in the art of critical thinking, thankfully, mainly by Dr. Jason and also Derek Rowntree, in\u00a0Learn How to Study: Developing the Study Sills and Approaches to Learning That Will Help You Succeed in<\/em> University. So my first take on this reading was that it was full of potential yellow caution flags, like a car race in a hailstorm.<\/p>\n

The first being that if in the wrong hands, HOW TO MANIPULATE OTHERS TO GET WHAT YOU SELFISHLY WANT, could be an alternate title for either Glaser or Carnegie’s books. \u00a0A case in point, when Glaser interjects (often) about the power of “we”, I have been trained to ask, “You and Who? \u00a0Do you have mouse in your pocket?”<\/p>\n

I can only imagine the number of people who have tried to get our fellow Elite8 Cohort member Mark to fund THEIR project while attempting to get him to believe they were always in this together, as in “we”. \u00a0As the Vice-President of Advancement at Rocky Mountain College, being the chief fund-raiser, I was often told by VERY expensive consultants that donors should not be given options for their generosity, instead it needed to be explained to them about what the college’s highest priorities were, and then be convinced that “we” were working together to solve the problem by “them” writing a massive check.<\/p>\n

I decided early on that I couldn’t sleep peacefully at night by employing those methods, so I decided instead to listen to my donors, get to know their stories and what they were passionate about, only then couple their passion with an appropriate project or program. Three years later, and over 21 million dollars raised, we found numerous alumni who funded “relationships” and “memories” ahead of sales pitches, smoke and mirrors. Alumni wrote bigger checks when they weren’t manipulated into doing so. Made my job a lot easier. And I didn’t have to be a back slapping’ butt kisser.<\/p>\n

And that is where my thoughts about this book turned to the highly positive.<\/p>\n

The premise of\u00a0Conversational Intelligence<\/em> is: “To get to the next level of greatness depends on the quality of our culture, which depends on the quality of our relationships, which depends on the quality of our conversations. Everything happens through conversations!” [1]<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Yes, relationships (with memories), and conversations (telling stories)! Glaser nailed it in my opinion. Communication between friends is the key. Add to that the three levels of conversation:<\/p>\n

Level I–transactional (how to exchange data and information); Level II–positional (how to work with power and influence); and Level III–transformational (how to co-create the future for mutual success). [2]<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Wow! She nailed it again. We are getting somewhere. Intuitively, without manipulation, listening to \u00a0their heart, all the while looking for ways to mutually work together to make the future successful. \u00a0I like it!<\/p>\n

My favorite sections in the book centered around “The backstory on trust and distrust” [3], “Our bodies do most of our talking” [4], and “Our brains were designed to make movies” [5]. I now understand why it was so hard to find reviews against our author (although I cheated and read Mike’s Blog. He found a naysayer. Mike is a better researcher than I am).<\/p>\n

Which brings me full circle, using this book as it relates to my focus for my dissertation, namely Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University, and whether or not a local church benefits with an increase in their tithes after facilitating the class.<\/p>\n

A mere mention of the word “tithe” and barriers go up. Pastors sometimes shy away from teaching on this sensitive subject because it might be perceived as manipulative. Congregants might think the pastor is only trying to get more salary while he separates the people in the pews from their wallets. Congregants don’t much like hearing about it, maybe out of guilt, or perhaps because it seems so legalistic. Glaser speaks strongly when saying:<\/p>\n

Use honesty at all times…at all times, tell the truth–tactfully and within the appropriate context..context does not mean spin<\/strong>. Don’t make the situation sound better than it is, even if you can. [6] {my bold added}<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

“Spin” in the case of describing the tithe, would be emphasizing prosperity, in the form of getting a nicer car or the house of your dreams. Not necessary! Yes, we know God blesses the giver, that it is more blessed to give than receive, but it should not be our motivation (or manipulation) to give. But let’s tell the truth, generosity through tithing (as a first-fruit, not as a left-over) when done appropriately with the right heart, is full of joy, for God blesses a joyful sharer with His eternal blessings, like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.<\/p>\n

II Corinthians 9:7 Each\u00a0of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. \u00a0[7}<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So the most effective “ask” for a tithe is a person who tells their transformational story, of going from a tight-fisted existence to a generous heart, putting their trust in God and his provision, while experiencing His financial peace! We can all listen and respond to that kind of story…<\/p>\n

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[1].Glaser, Judith E. Conversational Intelligence: How Great Leaders Build Trust and Get Extraordinary Results<\/i>. Bibliomotion Inc, 2016. XV.<\/p>\n

[2] Ibid., XXIV.<\/p>\n

[3] Ibid., 24.<\/p>\n

[4] Ibid., 79.<\/p>\n

[5] Ibid., 38.<\/p>\n

[6] Ibid., 174.<\/p>\n

[7].\u00a0Barker, Kenneth L. Zondervan NIV Study Bible: New International Version<\/i>. Zondervan, 2008.<\/p>\n

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Judith Glaser’s\u00a0Conversational Intelligence: How Great Leaders Build Trust and Get Extraordinary Results reminded me of another famous leadership book by Dale Carnegie titled,\u00a0How To Win Friends and Influence Others.\u00a0Both are powerfully written, have obvious appeal in the marketplace, and are easily applicable to improving one’s own leadership. If I would have read this book 14 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":96,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1350],"class_list":["post-18965","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-glaser","cohort-lgp8"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18965","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/96"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18965"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18965\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18968,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18965\/revisions\/18968"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18965"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18965"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18965"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}