{"id":17454,"date":"2018-04-12T18:46:57","date_gmt":"2018-04-13T01:46:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dminlgp\/?p=17454"},"modified":"2018-04-12T18:46:57","modified_gmt":"2018-04-13T01:46:57","slug":"no-pain-no-gain-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/no-pain-no-gain-2\/","title":{"rendered":"No Pain, No Gain?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Sam Chand speaks truth in his highly acclaimed leadership book, <em>Leadership Pain.<\/em> \u00a0The premise of his book is simply this &#8211; <em>No pain, No gain<\/em>. Chand challenges the reader to embrace the idea that when leadership \u201cpain\u201d subsides, you are not leading effectively. Chand makes the argument that leaders grow by pursuing their vision through pain. \u201cIf you\u2019re not hurting, you\u2019re not leading. Your vision for the future has to be big enough to propel you to face the heartaches and struggles you\u2019ll find along the way.\u201d<a href=\"#_ftn1\" name=\"_ftnref1\"><sup>[1]<\/sup><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Chand not only works with ministry leaders, he also teaches CEOs, community leaders, and non-profit leaders. \u00a0\u201cHigh-performing leaders gather to create success, grow their network, and expand their capacity for more.\u201d<a href=\"#_ftn2\" name=\"_ftnref2\">[2]<\/a>\u00a0 Two of Chand\u2019s premises in <em>Leadership Pain <\/em>directly correlate to my profession\u2026leaning into pain and procuring a pain partner. (Thank you Dr. Chand for endorsing my clinical business).\u00a0 Not only does Dr. Chand cross cultures, he also crosses between the faith and secular realm.\u00a0 Impressive\u2026especially when finding criticism of his text was nearly impossible.<\/p>\n<p>It is inspiring that one of Chand&#8217;s most impactful points in his book directly relates to who I am both professionally and personally \u2013a \u201cpain partner.\u201d Chand insists that if a leader does not have a pain partner, he\/she will \u201ccrash and burn.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cBe certain of this: when you suffer the pains of leadership, God is trusting you to weather the storm and represent him to a watching world. Your church\u2019s executive team looks to you to lead them; they trust you. The people in your business or nonprofit organization are looking to you; they trust you. Your family sees you when you aren\u2019t your best; they trust you. No matter what the source of difficulties you endure, God has put you in a position to display his kindness, wisdom, and power in the midst of your heartache.\u201d<a href=\"#_ftn3\" name=\"_ftnref3\">[3]<\/a>\u00a0 In Joseph Lalonde\u2019s interview\/podcast with Chand, he offers the following recommendations for leaning into pain:<a href=\"#_ftn4\" name=\"_ftnref4\">[4]<\/a><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Recognize and acknowledge pain<\/li>\n<li>Seek out the lesson(s) in the pain (i.e. financial, time, relationships, family)<\/li>\n<li>Choose to be with people who are honest and will speak truth to you \u2013 vs living in denial<\/li>\n<li>Be self-aware \u2013 it is crucial in growing your pain threshold<\/li>\n<li>Live life! (if you live life you recognize you need to grow and what your pain threshold is)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>When pressed on how to choose a pain partner, Chand reiterates that it doesn&#8217;t have to be a spouse, sibling, or parent.\u00a0 It may be a helping professional, consultant, mentor, teacher, or friend. Chand does acknowledge that the \u201chigher the position the more important it is to seek someone at a professional level.\u201d \u00a0Pain partners are \u201cpeople you are in relationship with who can help through the journey because they\u2019ve been through what you\u2019ve been through.\u201d<a href=\"#_ftn5\" name=\"_ftnref5\">[5]<\/a>\u00a0 How do you find this person?\u00a0 Do you find them or do they find you?\u00a0 The answer is simple &#8211; there are pain partners everywhere.\u00a0 Seek out people who might be able to help \u2013 not have the answers, but share the load. \u00a0And who are trustworthy.<\/p>\n<p>As leaders, it is also our responsibility to not only seek a pain partner and lean into the pain\u2026we must become <u>vulnerable<\/u>.\u00a0 Bren\u00e9 Brown is renowned in her vulnerability research.\u00a0 I\u2019ve referenced her work in a prior post (Gary McIntosh and Samuel Rima\u2019s text <em>Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership)<\/em> but Chand\u2019s <em>Leadership Pain<\/em> is also a scenario where Brene\u2019s work on leadership and vulnerability is directly related to Chand&#8217;s work and suggestion of a pain partner. Bren\u00e9 Brown&#8217;s research on vulnerability gives evidence that speaking often and authentically about experiences, pain, and life circumstances is helpful to your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical self. \u00a0I also make the connection that Chand\u2019s philosophy on leadership pain directly relates to our readings on morality by Haidt. \u00a0Let\u2019s be honest though, it\u2019s not always safe to be vulnerable\u2026 \u201cShame erodes our courage and fuels disengagement.\u201d<a href=\"#_ftn6\" name=\"_ftnref6\">[6]<\/a><\/p>\n<p>One of the occupational hazards of <u>being<\/u> the pain partner is that it can be challenging to find your <em>own <\/em>pain partner.\u00a0 If you appear to have it all together as a professional, people aren&#8217;t as open to hearing your challenges. One thing I\u2019ve learned about myself physically, spiritually, and mentally is that I have a high tolerance for pain. \u00a0One important concept that Chand did not expound enough on was the idea of chronic pain.\u00a0 He tells a story of being President of a University and leaving due to \u201cchronic pain\u201d.\u00a0 He talks about chronic pain as being \u201cdifferent than leadership pain.\u201d<a href=\"#_ftn7\" name=\"_ftnref7\">[7]<\/a>\u00a0 From a therapist perspective, Chand left us hanging when trying to dissect harmful pain. \u00a0How much is too much?<\/p>\n<p>Perry Noble models vulnerability as he offers a window of transparency into his own leadership pain.\u00a0 In Carey Nieuwhof\u2019s podcast with Perry, Perry discusses being pushed to the point of suicidal ideation (all while growing his mega-church which now has 36,000 attendees).\u00a0 He was judged for, and subsequently hid, his depression and anxiety.\u00a0 Perry is now coming forward to be a voice for leadership pain.\u00a0 \u201cThe snap is never just one thing, it&#8217;s the culmination of many things.\u201d\u00a0 Perry believes that ministry leaders are the best at culminating painful things, not dealing with them, and hiding them.\u00a0 \u201cWe are the quickest people on the planet to develop unhealthy patterns and then we call it leadership.\u00a0 Overworking is a rewarded addiction.\u201d<a href=\"#_ftn8\" name=\"_ftnref8\">[8]<\/a> Be careful if you are a leader addicted to the praise of people (in the clinical world, we call this codependence).\u00a0 Even in Biblical times, characters of the Bible were overwhelmed and on the verge of suicide.\u00a0 When Jonah asked the sailors to throw him overboard, he was requesting suicide.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t know the end of the story \u2013 that he would be miraculously swallowed by a whale and saved.\u00a0 The first step for all of us to stop trying to pretend that we have it all together when we don&#8217;t!<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhen we\u2019re in pain, it may not seem like much of a privilege to represent God at that moment and at that place, but God himself has appointed us, empowered us, and placed us \u201cfor such a time as this.\u201d He trusts us to endure with grace. The moment of pain, then, is a point of high honor earned by faithfulness, effectiveness, reputation, and proven character. It\u2019s an honor and a challenge to be God\u2019s representative in a time of heartache. People are watching us. It\u2019s an incredible opportunity. We dare not miss it.\u201d<a href=\"#_ftn9\" name=\"_ftnref9\">[9]<\/a>\u00a0 So please, dear friends, find a pain partner and know your limitations.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ftnref1\" name=\"_ftn1\">[1]<\/a>http:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/edstetzer\/2017\/october\/5-things-leaders-need-to-give-up.html<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ftnref2\" name=\"_ftn2\">[2]<\/a> http:\/\/samChandddleadership.com\/purpose.html<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ftnref3\" name=\"_ftn3\">[3]<\/a> Chand, Samuel.\u00a0<em>Leadership Pain: The Classroom for Growth<\/em>. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2015<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ftnref4\" name=\"_ftn4\">[4]<\/a> http:\/\/www.jmlalonde.com\/embrace-the-leadership-pain-sam-chand-interview\/<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ftnref5\" name=\"_ftn5\">[5]<\/a> http:\/\/www.jmlalonde.com\/embrace-the-leadership-pain-sam-chand-interview\/<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ftnref6\" name=\"_ftn6\">[6]<\/a> https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/pulse\/you-cannot-lead-talked-aboutits-going-happen-lessons-colbert<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ftnref7\" name=\"_ftn7\">[7]<\/a> http:\/\/www.jmlalonde.com\/embrace-the-leadership-pain-sam-chand-interview\/<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ftnref8\" name=\"_ftn8\">[8]<\/a> https:\/\/careynieuwhof.com\/7-truths-burnout-leadership\/<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"#_ftnref9\" name=\"_ftn9\">[9]<\/a> Chand, Samuel.\u00a0<em>Leadership Pain: The Classroom for Growth<\/em>. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2015<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sam Chand speaks truth in his highly acclaimed leadership book, Leadership Pain. \u00a0The premise of his book is simply this &#8211; No pain, No gain. Chand challenges the reader to embrace the idea that when leadership \u201cpain\u201d subsides, you are not leading effectively. Chand makes the argument that leaders grow by pursuing their vision through [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":99,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1182],"class_list":["post-17454","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-chand","cohort-lgp8"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17454","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/99"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17454"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17454\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17456,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17454\/revisions\/17456"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17454"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17454"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17454"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}