{"id":17194,"date":"2018-03-22T14:41:31","date_gmt":"2018-03-22T21:41:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dminlgp\/?p=17194"},"modified":"2018-03-24T17:28:25","modified_gmt":"2018-03-25T00:28:25","slug":"courage-what-the-living-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/courage-what-the-living-do\/","title":{"rendered":"Courage: What the Living Do"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Last Time<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

The last time we had dinner together in a restaurant<\/strong><\/p>\n

with white tablecloths, he leaned forward<\/strong><\/p>\n

and took my two hands in his hands and said,<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m going to die soon. I want you to know that.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And I said, I think I do know.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And he said, What surprises me is that you don\u2019t.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And I said, I do. And he said, What?<\/strong><\/p>\n

And I said, Know that you\u2019re going to die.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And he said, No, I mean know that you are.<\/strong><\/p>\n

— <\/strong>Marie Howe, What the Living Do<\/em>[1]<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I entered Andrew Marin\u2019s book primarily as an outsider to a conversation. His book, Love is an Orientation<\/em> was written with \u201cconservative\u201d Christians as the target audience, with people who identify as LGBTQ as the objects of the book. Identifying myself neither as LGBTQ nor as a conservative Christian, I felt almost as if I was reading someone else\u2019s mail.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Marin works hard to speak to conservative Christians from the point where they are coming from, suggesting that they hold the belief \u201cthat the Bible allows only three options for connecting faith and sexuality: be heterosexual, be celibate or live in sin.\u201d[2]<\/a> He hopes to help conservative Christians approach relationships with the LGBTQ community from postures of humility and love and learning. As he says, \u201cwe miss out on soul-stirring dialogues when we fail to openly enter into an unnerving conversation.\u201d[3]<\/a> Thus, he attempts to help the audience better understand people who are not heterosexual. While I laud Marin\u2019s goal, I hesitate to affirm his stance.<\/p>\n

Posture and Place<\/strong><\/h3>\n

On my drive down to Tennessee yesterday, I listened to Krista Tippett interview Brene Brown on her On Being<\/em> podcast.[4]<\/a> As Brown has likely written elsewhere[5]<\/a>, in her conversation with Tippett she encourages, \u201cIt\u2019s hard to hate someone close up; move in.\u201d When we keep others at a distance, we can stereotype them and vilify them. But when we move in close, we recognize their humanness and uniqueness; we name them not as \u201csinners\u201d but as individuals created in the image of God. As Marin writes, \u201cThe Christian community has only ever known one way to handle same-sex sexual behavior: take a stand and keep a distance. Productive dialogue comes from cognitive insight and can only be accomplished through an incarnational posture of humility and living as a learner.\u201d[6]<\/a> While Marin has generalized \u201cthe Christian community\u201d here, his realization of incarnational, humble learning is a missional stance that reflects the life of Jesus. As missionaries who enter that space of another in that posture, we are also changed by our relationships, and our perspective of God is enriched as well.<\/p>\n

A Face and A Name<\/strong><\/h3>\n

As mentioned above, I identify as cisgender and heterosexual, but I do have several friends who are LGBTQ. I hesitate to speak on their behalf, but imagine that if they were to read Marin\u2019s text, they would be offended by even the implicit suggestion that their identity (who they are; for Christians, who God created them as) is sinful. Even by using language such as \u201cGod\u2019s redemptive cycle\u201d[7]<\/a> (which I love) in connection with LGBTQ identity, suggests that there is something imperfect about one\u2019s identity that needs to be changed. While I do affirm scripture\u2019s \u201call have sinned\u201d reality, suggesting to LGBTQ people that their gender identity is part of that \u201call have sinned\u201d would be like suggesting to me that my female-ness is encompassed in that as well. Christians of all stripes would do well to look beyond a person\u2019s gender identity and at a person created, known and loved by God.<\/p>\n

I also wonder at Marin\u2019s suggestions for people who \u201cfeel as though they have a heart for gays and lesbians.\u201d[8]<\/a> By suggesting Christians spend time walking around \u201cyour local gay neighborhood\u201d and praying, or attend a \u201clocal chapter of a larger gay organization,\u201d Marin continues to perpetuate the idea that gay people are \u201cout there\u201d rather than close up, or that \u201cthey\u201d are solidified into a cohesive community.[9]<\/a> Instead, conservative Christians might be better served if they were challenged to open their eyes to see their son\u2019s girlfriend\u2019s sister, or their cousin, or colleague, or father-in-law or friend in their youth group; people they know by name. Especially for youth in conservative churches, being stigmatized and isolated in their gender identity is unfortunately too common. This is part of the \u201cmoving in\u201d that Brown proposes in resisting labels of hatred; except that the relationships are already close and we need only open our eyes.<\/p>\n

A lot can happen in a decade<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Finally, I would be curious how Marin would revise this book nearly a decade after it was originally published. In the intervening years, same-sex marriage has become socially acceptable and legalized in America. Behavior modification has been generally discredited (and in many places, outlawed). Many Christians have adjusted their understanding of who God is and God\u2019s reconciling work among us to embrace others in all nuances and allow God to transform all of us. And yet, as Brian McLaren writes in the forward to Marin\u2019s book, there still exists, in increasing reality, the sense that people in our culture (whether gay or straight) are turned off of the way of Jesus because his followers are perceived as judgmental and anti-gay.[10]<\/a><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t help but wonder how my friends who are gay would receive this book. And yet, on the other hand, I wonder if my conservative friends and family might be a bit more sympathetic and compassionate to others with the approach that Marin proposes. But that takes courage. And as Brown challenges, \u201cshe or he who chooses comfort over courage and facilitating real conversations\u2026 as a leader, your days of relevance are numbered.\u201d[11]<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

[1]<\/a> Marie Howe, What the Living Do<\/em> (New York: Norton, 1998), on sitting with her brother, who is dying of an AIDS-related disease.<\/p>\n

[2]<\/a> Andrew Marin, Love is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community<\/em> (Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity, 2009), 36.<\/p>\n

[3]<\/a> Ibid.<\/p>\n

[4]<\/a> Bren\u00e9 Brown, \u201cStrong Back, Soft Front, Wild Heart,\u201d interview with Krista Tippett, On Being<\/em> podcast, February 8, 2018.<\/p>\n

[5]<\/a> Confession: I\u2019ve yet to read anything written by Brown; not from lack of interest, but lack of margin.<\/p>\n

[6]<\/a> Marin, 37.<\/p>\n

[7]<\/a> Ibid., 58.<\/p>\n

[8]<\/a> Ibid., 63.<\/p>\n

[9]<\/a> Ibid., 62. I recognize that media and language, and to some extent some organizations and people who are LGBTQ also perpetuate this.<\/p>\n

[10]<\/a> McLaren, forward, in Marin, 13.<\/p>\n

[11]<\/a> Brown.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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