And then, everyone turned and looked at me in silence.\u00a0 All of a sudden, this blissful time of family feasting suddenly felt awkward.\u00a0 I misunderstood the cue and began thanking them so much for the great meal.\u00a0 The silence continued.\u00a0 After a few seconds that seemed like several minutes, my Filipino mom, \u201cNanay,\u201d stood and began cleaning the table.\u00a0 Everyone quietly left the dining area.<\/p>\n
What was I missing?\u00a0 I knew that I must have done something wrong, but I did not have a clue.<\/p>\n
Finally, Nanay walked over to talk to me.\u00a0 \u201cOh,\u201d she said, \u201cI think things must be different in America.\u00a0 In the Philippines, you give presents to your family on your birthday.\u201d<\/p>\n
I had so many thoughts and emotions at that moment.\u00a0 I was embarrassed.\u00a0 At the same time, I felt \u201cset up.\u201d\u00a0 How was I supposed to know about this custom that just happens to be the opposite of what happens in my culture?<\/p>\n
Even though it was too late to buy gifts, I realized that I did have a little cash.\u00a0 After consulting with Nanay (who ran the plan by Lola Pilay), I said: \u201cHey guys, in honor of my birthday, I am going to take everyone to the movies.\u201d\u00a0 The boys were excited and we headed off to see \u201cIron Eagle II\u201d in Makati.<\/p>\n
If you talk with missionaries, they all have stories like this.\u00a0 Some are humorous, some are tragic.\u00a0 But relating cross-culturally almost always involves a lot of mistake-making.<\/p>\n
I just finished reading Leading with Cultural Intelligence<\/em><\/strong> by David Livermore.1<\/sup>\u00a0 The author\u2019s premise is simple.\u00a0 He believes that leaders can develop the ability to pick up on verbal and non-verbal cues in order to better relate to people from other cultures.\u00a0 While the book seems to be focused on international business situations, the strategies in the book are extremely relevant to missionaries.<\/p>\n When I was in seminary, I took a few classes in missiology.\u00a0 I learned the steps that missionaries took to research a culture in order to develop relationships and share the gospel.\u00a0 In the years to follow, these principles were helpful as I led mission trips to a variety of international destinations.<\/p>\n Yet, as I began to read \u201cLeading with Cultural Intelligence,\u201d I was struck with a thought.<\/p>\n This book is extremely relevant to the church that I serve at in Fort Worth, Texas.<\/p>\n The Dallas \/ Fort Worth \u201cMetroplex\u201d is one of the most ethnically diverse places in America.\u00a0 The city I live in has thousands of Latino immigrant families, refugees from Asia, Africa, and the Middle East, international students, as well as high-tech engineers and workers in the medical field. In fact, only 11% \u00a0<\/sup>of the students in the Fort Worth Independent School District<\/em>\u00a0identify as \u201cwhite.\u201d2<\/p>\n On any given Sunday morning at Southcliff Baptist Church, you will meet people from Burma, Columbia, Sri Lanka, Congo, Germany, Nepal, Italy, Philippines, Cameroon, South Korea, Iraq, Taiwan, Malaysia, Serbia, Indonesia, Croatia, Nigeria, Kazakhstan, India, Syria, and Mexico.\u00a0 \u00a0While the majority of the congregation is Anglo American (i.e. \u201cwhite\u201d), the sheer number of different countries that Southcliff attenders come from is nothing short of amazing.<\/p>\n As I continued to read through Livermore\u2019s book, the same thought came to my mind.\u00a0 \u201cOur entire church staff needs to understand the principles in this book.\u201d\u00a0 I believe that our church is not alone in this.\u00a0 The ethnic and cultural diversity of the United States is at an all-time high.\u00a0 For example, in Houston, Texas there are around 100 different languages spoken.3<\/sup><\/p>\n The line between missiology and ecclesiology is blurred.\u00a0 If churches seek to be missional, many of them will reach families who come from more diverse backgrounds.\u00a0 Church leaders who want to become effective at meeting the needs of these families will need to develop cultural intelligence.\u00a0 Reading this book is a great first step in that process.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n My Filipino Family –\u00a0 Fely Vito (“Nanay”) is on the right.<\/p>\n 1<\/sup>Livermore, David A. Leading with cultural intelligence the real secret to success<\/em>. New York, NY: American Management Association, 2015.<\/p>\n 2<\/sup>HRIS, Inc. “Fort Worth ISD Independent School District.” HAR. Accessed May 26, 2017. http:\/\/www.har.com\/school_district\/fort-worth-isd_220905<\/a>.<\/p>\n![](\"http:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dminlgp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Stu-in-Pasig-cropped.jpg\")
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