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David Brooks self-declared intentions to attempt to integrate science and psychology with sociology, politics, cultural commentary and the literature of success was a delightful read that took the reader on a journey of the highest highs and the lowest lows.[1]<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0 Some of the greatest taboos of our society were mentioned by name in their own proper context.\u00a0 No thought or idea was left covered up and by his own admission, the author was clear that this is not a book to be digested in a simple review but instead to be viewed as thirty years of research. \u00a0He integrated and named so many scientific researchers in context instead of through their clinical eyes.\u00a0 What an incredible journey of thoughts as he stated “things that people think but never say.”<\/p>\n Overview<\/p>\n And with that in mind, let\u2019s look specifically at two scenes from the book that are so perfectly pictured.<\/p>\n Romance<\/p>\n In the very beginning the story of Rob and Julia, as they moved toward each other with so many story lines going on inside their head before they even say hello.\u00a0 The author allows us to hear and understand this strange dance of relationship in the subconscious.\u00a0 This thought process is spectacular.\u00a0 I have seen this danced out so many time in front of me that it seemed incredibly familiar. The fact that people are often afflicted with a \u201cFlaw-O-Matic\u201d, an internal device that spots shortcomings in a potential mate, is so accurate.[2]<\/a>\u00a0 The strange dance that takes place when two people start the ritual of dating was so humorously spelled out from the dating table to the proposal.\u00a0\u00a0 How many times does this initial start have the signs to go another way and they are ignored?\u00a0\u00a0 Trapping someone for life?\u00a0 Or how many times is there this initial contact and the truth is, it is the naturally right thing to do, but one of the parties talks themselves out of the relationship at the first dinner?\u00a0 \u00a0This was so intriguing and true to life.\u00a0 Choices that are made in the maddening dance do truly affect the course of life.\u00a0 Choosing wisely instead of just randomly is the moral of\u00a0this story.\u00a0\u00a0 Choosing Godly or Christian at this pivotal moment is crucial to being spiritual into the future.<\/p>\n Limerence<\/p>\n The second story that grabbed me was the detailed explanation of limerence.\u00a0 The phrase, \u201cthe desire for limerence\u201d was repeated multiple times. It exploded the concept of being in harmony as a priority. \u00a0This concept is about desire.\u00a0 All relationships have desire and this book certainly looked at every kind of desire in relationship, but this section was very enlightening.<\/p>\n Let me list a few:<\/p>\n Harmony is such a powerful emotion and connection.\u00a0 The happy life is defined by these sorts of connections and the unhappy life is defined by a lack of them.[4]<\/a>\u00a0 Harmony with God is only a little blip in the whole conversation of this book but it is right in the middle of the subject matter of \u201cfinding harmony in life.\u201d Harmony with another person and then harmony with God makes perfect sense to me. \u00a0\u00a0It sounds a lot like unity or alignment.<\/p>\n Conclusion<\/p>\n I would interject that in the \u201cfree for all world\u201d that is described in this book, having some moorings to ground your life to is crucial.\u00a0 I don\u2019t disagree with all the things described. I believe Brooks’ picture is truly accurate but there are more influences than science to life.\u00a0\u00a0 There are things that are spiritual.\u00a0 I know that \u201creligion\u201d is a word that is rejected but there are spiritual choices that affect our lives.\u00a0\u00a0 I have used the phrase \u201cpre-choice choices\u201d for years because you never know when the first story is going to happen and you surely don\u2019t know when the latter is going to happen.\u00a0 So, if you make choices in advance about who<\/strong> you<\/em> will allow into the story line (basically you give guidelines to your choices before your emotions, hormones and whatever else kicks in), it will allow you to have a destiny that is spiritual instead of just one that is completely chance.<\/p>\n I am challenged by the task of continuing to urge teenagers to fight through what naturally happens to make the spiritual happen first. \u00a0They don’t have the best guidance system yet as I suggested in the opening, so they are going to need someone to help guide them and point them to the truth.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n [1]<\/a>David Brooks The Social Animal: The Hidden Sources of Love, Character, and Achievement, (New York, Random House, 2012), 383.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/dminlgp.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/Pre-Choice-Choice-300x230.jpg\")
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